


The Run And Go

by LaPetiteMorteKitty



Series: KuroShin AU [1]
Category: Kagerou Project, Mekakucity Actors
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff and Angst, M/M, but no noncon, rating will change as needed, shintaro dies but comes back, tags added as needed, that is i nthe first chapter, that's what you get for a death warning, will probably get explicit later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-04-19 12:06:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4745771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaPetiteMorteKitty/pseuds/LaPetiteMorteKitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It seemed relatively harmless to Shintaro. An online chat service that would randomly connect you with someone to talk to. But why did he need to be on there... His life would never be the same,</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Have Killed a Man (Prologue)

**Author's Note:**

> Sammy (LePetiteMorteKitty): I'm so excited to finally be posting this. This started out in planning back in MArch after a random shamchat and has turned into something wonderful that will probably continue for a a while, hope you enjoy!

Laughter rang out through the laboratory as a thud was heard. It was time. It was finally that time again. It was always annoying to have to go through so much redundancy, but in the end, he always had fun.

The raven haired man looked at the the corpse of his old master promising that someday, he’d get his wish, but this loop would probably need to be scrapped meaning he’d have to force a reset. This was the only thing truly fun about his job. The look on their faces as they watched their friends fall one by one was exhilerating.

Checking the time, he had a good amount before he had to take out the Dan. He just needed to kill some time, and surely his new host had some way to do that.

Upon checking his pocket, he found a cell phone. Where he’d bought it, the snake had no idea, all that mattered was that he had a phone with some apps on it. Most of them were fairly boring, but one seemed to catch his eye. It was some sort of application where you could put in a name and chat with random people. It seemed like enough fun to tide him over before his killing spree started.

“Now… what was the name that child sputtered out a few loops ago when he saw me?” The tall teen pondered over his expansive memory of all the different loops. It was so easy to lose a small detail in hundreds of years of repeating similar events. “Oh yes. Kur… o… ha… There!” He was pretty sure that no one would recognize him with this alias anyway. There was limited chance anyone would even talk to him, but he’d figure he’d try. Maybe it’d let him find out more about human psychology. He rarely was able to interact with humans that weren’t a part of some dark underworld that wanted his services.

Most of the people he encountered did just as he expected. They disconnected immediately as if he wasn’t interesting enough. A few stopped to chat, one of which supplied him with with advice as to the fact that he should eliminate unpredictable variables when he was trying his plans out. This was something he needed to think about. He was sure that the NEET who he saw every few loops would cause him some kind of problem eventually, so maybe taking him out on his own would be a good idea, even if, in a way, he saved him once before, when an even worse variable got in the way and tried to end him. He grumbled, just looking back at the application. “Start a new chat, I guess…”

A look of mild surprise crossed his face at the next words that showed up.

 

**_This is a conversation between Kisaragi Shintaro, and yourself, Kuroha_ **

 

Were his eyes deceiving him, or did he just read the name that came up on the screen correctly. Was it really him?

 

 **Kisaragi Shintaro:** … Fuck.

 

A smirk crossed Kuroha’s face at the sight. He was about ready for the inevitable disconnect that was sure to follow from this contact.

Only there wasn’t an immediate disconnect. The snake cocked an eyebrow, starting to leave his lab to head towards the teen’s house. Maybe he’d follow through with his plan after all, get rid of the problem before it became one. Or at least see if he was actually talking to him.

 

 **Kuroha:** Oh, wonderful!  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** What the hell are _you_ doing here.

 

Kuroha could sense a tinge of fear that the NEET was trying to hide behind false toughness and attitude. It didn’t suit him well. Maybe he was too afraid to disconnect because if he did, Kuroha might kill him? It was a thought that the taller man would consider as reason enough not to sign out of the chat immediately.

 

 **Kuroha:** I’d ask you the same thing, but this is the internet. You like this place a lot, don’t you?  
 **Kisaragi Shintaro:**  Did I ask for your opinion on my lifestyle?

 

Wow, he must have been afraid. He was acting so…. defensive. How adorable. He’d have fun playing with this one alone before slaughtering his friends. And to think he thought Shuuya was fun enough.

 

 **Kuroha:** I didn’t say anything either way. You’re as rude as ever. Always assuming the worst of me. 3:

 

He placed a small smiley face in his message to mirror the look on his face. The fake pout didn’t seem to phase Shintaro, however.

 

 **Kisaragi Shintaro:** Well you sure as hell _implied_ it. And I’m sorry that my manners aren’t all that great when talking to homicidal psychopaths.  
**Kuroha:** I haven’t even killed anyone this loop.  
**Kuroha:** Yet.

 

Kuroha stopped in an alleyway to think on it. The sick child passed on his own, with little help from him. His old master’s daughter threw herself off the building of her own will. He didn’t exactly kill Konoha, he just took over the weakened body after shooting it. His old master passed when he left his body. The only one that he interfered with was that extremely angry child, who he took to his lab after she passed out, and poisoned her.

 

 **Kuroha:** Well, I guess I technically didn’t kill them, soooo, yeah. I haven’t killed anyone.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** “Technically”  
**Kuroha:** Oh well, that was years ago.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** _It still counts._

 

Kuroha shrugged off the comment. Nothing could be done about any of that now. At least the girl had a new “body” of sorts and was far more happy and outgoing now. Speaking of Ene, no one had interrupted the conversation or forced the conversation to end by now. Maybe she was away from him. That would make things much easier.

 

 **Kuroha:** Hehehe. So, what have you been up to? Making friends~?  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** Why would I tell you that? You’ll just kill them all anyway.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** And I know you have no interest in my personal life.  
**Kuroha:** I'm just trying to make conversation.  
**Kuroha:** We've known each other for a loooooooooooooooong time, after all.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** Yeah, now if only I could forget about it.

 

Really, Shintaro didn’t need to be this harsh with him. He was just trying to talk. If it wasn’t for the previous loops, this could have possibly been a good way to start over. At least Kuroha was _trying_ to understand Shintaro a little bit better. The only thing that he knew from what he’d seen was that Shintaro was a rather depressed and nihilistic character in his eyes. He didn’t seem to care much for himself compared to others. Without some kind of friend there to help balance him out, he was quick to throw his entire life away with a single movement and a pair of scissors…

The snake typed with fervor, starting to get annoyed at the words coming from the other end of the internet. He’d be at Shintaro’s house soon enough. Not that he had any doubt that this was the real Shintaro. He knew too much.

 

 **Kuroha:** Well, you’re never going to forget and that’s a fact. Even I’ve been talking to some friends on here.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** You have friends?

 

He was about ready to crush the phone. No wonder he didn’t make many friends. How many people could deal with someone like him. Maybe he was wrong about what he’d thought earlier. Maybe he was just self-centered and rude.

…. But if he was, then why did he care so much about that girl? It didn’t make any sense. It made less sense than Kano’s powers even having a use to him with a dead mother, or how Ene’s snake makes her into a cyber being when computers didn’t exist when the monster was formed. It just made him more interested in the boy, but it was much too late in the loop to try to reason with him. He’d already made up his mind anyway and Shintaro was just making it worse on himself.

 

 **Kuroha:** Yes Shintaro. I have friends. It shouldn’t be that hard to believe, really.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** I figured that you lacked the ability to make friends considering how your chest is just a deep, dark abyss that is the emptiness where your heart should theoretically be.  
**Kuroha:** WOW. You just can’t cut a guy a break, can you. Good thing I told my friends about you.

 

He was talking out of his ass at this point. He didn’t really have “friends.” He had clients who wanted his services, and suppliers who helped him with some of the things he needed. The only person who he was referring to was the nice stranger that gave him the advice to cut Shintaro out of the plan immediately. He probably didn’t need to do this, but the fact that he’d said nothing negative about the boy, yet had gotten this much vitriol, was crossing the line. He couldn’t even figure out why he cared what some dumb smart kid thought.

 

 **Kisaragi Shintaro:** … What were you talking about exactly?

 

Kuroha snapped out of his daze as the alert noise sounded. He smirked, realizing that the fear had returned to the tone he liked Shintaro’s messages. _Fear._

 

 **Kuroha:** Well, they're very understanding. Much like me, no matter how hard they try, there's always an... anomaly who likes to screw over their plans. While you haven't yet, you've shown potential to. So, I got a little advice from them~

 

Kuroha was now standing outside the window to Shintaro’s room. Yes, the teen was indeed the one talking to him. He could see no sign of the virus anywhere on the NEET’s computer. He was fortunate in that aspect. The last thing he’d need would be her going for help from their little friends.

 

 **Kisaragi Shintaro:** So, what? You’re just going to kill me sooner than the rest or something?

 

A smirk crossed Shintaro’s face, he was sharp, he’d give him that much. But he was wearing headphones. He couldn’t hear it as Kuroha pushed his bedroom window open and slipped in, unnoticed by anyone.

 

 **Kuroha:** You were always smarter than the others. I'll give you that. Buuuuuut, that was a "nice" chat we've had. Unfortunately, I'm a bit busy, so let's wrap this up.

 

He creeped up behind the chair of the younger male, knife in one hand, phone in the other.

 

 **Kuroha:** Look  
**Kuroha:** Behind  
**Kuroha:** You~  
_**You have left the conversation**_

 

When Shintaro turned around, it was already too late. All he saw was a fanged smirk and the flash of some silver metal…

 

~*~

 

Kuroha stood there, blood dripping from his knife. There was no body. It was August 15th. Shintaro hadn’t died yet. At least not for good. He’d be in the haze, and then he’d come back. This shouldn’t have mattered. He had enough time to go and slaughter all of the teen’s new friends and reset the timeline, so they could return to happier days. Happier days where all of the queen’s friends were still alive, and where he could try to change the behavior of the one other outlier so maybe he could get all 10 of the snakes on one side of the haze.

But… he didn’t want to. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but something was off about this. He normally was very exhilarated at the feeling of murdering someone. It was one of the few things that still brought him joy each loop. But this kill felt… empty. It was lacking. It felt _wrong._

Shintaro would be back tomorrow, he supposed. If he put off murdering everyone for a year, he could talk to him again this loop, maybe. Yes. This seemed like a good idea. That is, if the other would even talk to him.

Either way, Kuroha was going to try.

 

 


	2. The Judge (Chapter 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shintaro woke up in his room, it was now August 16th. He was alive. His friends were probably alive. Everyone was safe. So, what harm could another day of chatting online do after all. There was no reason for Kuroha to get online again....

Shintaro woke with a start in his bed. He grabbed at his neck. One of the last things he’d remembered was Kuroha standing behind him with a knife. There was no cut, though.

He glanced over at the clock, letting out a sigh of relief at the sight. August 16th. He was still here. The timeline hadn’t reset. Everyone was safe. Maybe that chat with Kuroha was all a dream? He almost wanted to slip back into bed, but at the realization that Ene still hadn’t returned from spending time with others, he couldn’t. He needed to bask in his solitude for as long as possible before things returned to how they were.

He got out of bed, plopping back down in his chair and scooting over to the computer. His face paled as he realized it. The chat log from Kuroha was still up on the screen. It _wasn’t_ a dream. There was also a small amount of blood spatter on his desk. A slight reflection in the monitor showed a scar on his neck, barely visible. His hand instinctively covered his mouth as he felt the bile rising to his throat. He had very little tolerance for blood, let alone his own. He quickly cleaned up the stains and laid his head on his now lemony fresh smelling desk. Yesterday’s events were clear in his mind as his eyes flashed red. ‘ _Not this again._ ’

He sat there for a moment until he realized something. If the timeline had reset, maybe Kuroha hadn’t tried to kill the others. Or if he did, maybe they managed to stop him. Maybe they were all finally _safe_.

Shintaro sat up properly, looking at the computer. It was quite possible that Kuroha was finally gone, so going back on the chat site really couldn’t hurt too much, could it? He archived his last conversation so that he’d have proof that it actually happened other than his memory.

 

**Start a new conversation**

****  
  


Clicking the button, the teen continued from where he left off. He’d talk to everyone he could, having plenty of fun along the way. But eventually, his fears came true.

 

_**This is a conversation between Kuroha, and yourself, Kisaragi Shintaro.** _

**Kisaragi Shintaro:** Oh god. You again?

 

The snake was sitting in his lab, on the actual website that the app he was using earlier came from, at his computer. He was more than surprised that Shintaro didn’t disconnect at the sight of his name, and even more so that he’d start the conversation. Things were looking better already.

 

 **Kuroha:** Oh, wonderful! Although…. yeah, I guess my plan backfired.  
**Kuroha:** You’d think I’d know better than to try to kill someone on the 15th.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** It took you this many times to figure that out, huh?  
**Kuroha:** Well, considering I usually try to get people to die on the 15th, it was definitely not the first thing I thought of.

 

It was a bit harder for Kuroha to type to Shintaro that it was yesterday. He tried to carry the conversation on like normal, but he’d been feeling different since the night before. He’d almost been dreading talking to Shintaro just because he was sure he wouldn’t even be up to talking. There was an uneasy feeling in his stomach as he remembered the boy falling dead in his arms, before he was swallowed up into the haze. And when he thought about the possibility of not talking to Shintaro, his chest felt tight. He was unfamiliar with these feelings. Maybe talking to Shintaro more could help him figure it out.

 

 **Kisaragi Shintaro:** I don’t even know why I’m still talking to you, you’re just talking about trying to murder me.  
**Kuroha:** Well, if you didn’t want to risk talking to me again, maybe you should have just gone outside instead of spending all this time on the internet.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** I thought I asked you yesterday not to question my lifestyle. What if I don’t want to go outside?  
**Kuroha:** Whatever… Just try not to get heat-stroke. Or do, and then die, cause you can’t come back from the haze twice... Wait, did you ever even make it out of the haze?  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** I’m here right now, aren’t I?  
**Kuroha:** Ahhh, I was wondering. Who knows, there might be wi-fi in the haze.

 

He wondered if Shintaro would notice how little sense what he was typing made. He needed to get the subject to get off of murder and back to friendly conversation. If he felt so bad after killing Shintaro once, killing him again would probably be nearly impossible.

 

 **Kisaragi Shintaro:** If there was, wouldn’t you be the person to know?  
**Kuroha:** The last time I was in there, I was a snake. I didn’t exactly have a phone.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** Fair enough.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** So, is there any particular reason why you're still wasting time on here? You'd think someone would be scared off after the first day.

 

Kuroha squinted at the screen. Shintaro probably didn’t expect that he’d come back to talk to him. He’d been on here at least a few hours and put up with hundreds of disconnects just to get to this point. Shintaro was probably picking up on the fact that he was just making small talk. But at least it was getting further away from the subject of murder.

 

 **Kuroha:** Well, if more people actually talked to me. You'd be amazed. I keep running into people, but before I can even open my mouth, they leave.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** That could be because they know you’re a murderer and more trouble than talking to would be worth.  
**Kuroha:**  You guys never seem to give me a chance. Perhaps if you'd been a little nicer, I wouldn't have come up behind you and killed you like that.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** Oh, I’m _sure_ that would have helped.

 

Something about Shintaro’s sarcasm was hurting him. He couldn’t expect Shintaro to exactly be nice, but it stung to hear his attempt to apologize starting to get shot down at every turn.

On the other end, Shintaro was highly confused. Kuroha hated all of them, or at least he thought he did. Why was he even talking to him. Was he trying to mess with his head? Was this some sort of sick game for him? This conversation was already going on for longer than it did the last time. Shintaro glanced out the window. He couldn’t see Kuroha out there… He supposed if there was any chance of danger, he could just disconnect and run to the Dan as fast as he could. He’d get tired, probably, but it’d give him a chance to at least tell someone before he died.

 

 **Kuroha:** You never know.  
**Kuroha:** Maybe we could have talked it out  
**Kuroha:** worked out our differences.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** I hope you realize you’re just spewing out complete and utter bullshit right now.  
**Kuroha:** Oh, come on!

 

“.... I guess it does sound fake.” He couldn’t really argue with him. He looked away from the screen for a moment, sighing. He could see throughout his lab various experiments. Nothing about this was making him happy anymore. One tank was drained and empty, and across from it was Takane’s body. He’d have to give that back later. Maybe it could be his first nice act for the Dan! … If they would listen to him, that is.

 

 **Kisaragi Shintaro:** You don't think, after all these time loops, that I don't know you're just killing us to prolong your own existence?  
**Kuroha:** Well, ask yourself  
**Kuroha:** Would you ever just give up on liv-  
**Kuroha:** Oh…  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** Yeah.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** Not the best person to be asking that question.

 

Even now, talking about this was getting to Shintaro. Going to the haze fully activated his powers. A vivid image flashed before his eyes of some of the recent loops where he didn’t make it to the end. The glint of silver and a splash of red. He felt faint. “Dammit…” He was starting to wonder why the snake didn’t just finish them all off. Without knowledge of how to control his powers, he was probably going to deal with plenty of horrifying flashbacks that he didn’t want to remember. He’d have to focus on something else.

The alert noise was heard again. He would find out what the snake wanted with him no matter what.

 

 **Kuroha:** Well, those were different times. If it wasn’t for the Deceiver, I’m pretty sure that things would have worked out different for you that time.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** Kano’s going to be Kano no matter what else happens. I just… had some bad luck that time, I guess.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** It could’ve happened in any other timeline, if things just worked out that way.  
**Kuroha:** Yeah. I really wonder what made that boy so resentful that one time and not now. Then again, I never did understand him that much, his wish, while it made sense for what he wanted, didn't really help in the long run.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** I don’t think anyone will be able to figure out what’s going on inside his head.

 

Shintaro was very well aware of what would happen in those bad loops. After so many loops of meeting Kano and loops of getting haunted by the visage of his best friend, he could tell something was fishy. The younger boy always seemed a little averse to him. Needless to say it was possible that he hated him. And the only person who Kano Shuuya hated more than Shintaro was Kuroha. So why was Kuroha spilling all these details about him?

 

 **Kuroha:** Doesn't help that, even if he trusted me, I could ask him what's wrong and it'd probably be a lie. Of course, asking him would be pointless anyway, he'd just tell me to go die somewhere.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** I’m pretty sure any one of us would tell you the same.  
**Kuroha:** Well, as nice as it would be to just be able to say 'Alright, I'm not going to kill anyone anymore' and actually try to earn people's trust... Unfortunately friendship isn't exactly what keeps me here.  
**Kuroha:** So, unless there's a loophole somewhere, I'm probably going to be declining with everyone’s trust for a while. However, these little chats are fun. :3 <  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** Wow. For a second there, it almost sounded like you actually have the ability to care about someone besides yourself.

 

Kuroha took a moment to sit on those words. The conversation had once again been brought back to the subject of him trying to be Shintaro’s friend. Was this what he wanted? Well, it’d at least make the next year he was stuck on this planet, knowing of his inevitable demise, a lot less lonely. It was like he’d thought yesterday. He didn’t really have friends. They weren’t useful to him for the longest time. But he’d put off killing everyone for another year now, and wasn’t even sure he wanted to murder them anymore either. Shintaro was right. It would be difficult for people to believe he could care about others. But, much like Shintaro himself, it didn’t mean he wasn’t capable or willing to try.

 

 **Kuroha:** Well, think of it this way. Imagine I became your friend, and then immediately died, Isn’t that fun?  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** That’s going under the assumption that I could ever actually do something like that, which is pretty hard to imagine.  
**Kuroha:** You know, according to theoretical science, it’s possible that there is a universe out there where we are best buddies~  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** Well, I hope I stay far, far away from wherever that is.

 

“That was cold, even for you, Kisaragi…” There it was, that feeling in his chest again. That pain that he had no idea where it came from. He was cringing at every friendship rejection that he was given. He’d admit it was his fault for what he’s done, but he could still hope Shintaro would listen to him.

 

 **Kuroha:** Awwww, come on. You remember the timelines, I remember the timelines.  
**Kuroha:** Maybe we should just… spend time together every loop.  
**Kuroha:** Go out and have lunch together~  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** Oh, sure, sounds like a GREAT plan.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** And afterwards you can just kill me then and there without anyone else noticing a thing, right?  
**Kuroha:** See! This is what I’m talking about. You never give me a chance! 3:  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** Weren’t you just talking about planning to kill me on a day other than the August 15th?  
**Kuroha:** All I said was that I should have known better.  
**Kuroha:** You’re making assumptions  
**Kuroha:** You know what happens when you assume?  
**Kuroha:** You make an ass out of you and me.  
**Kuroha:** Ass u me.

 

Was he starting to sound defensive? Or was what he saying just stupid. It didn’t matter. It wasn’t like he could delete the messages anyway. The snake dreaded the possible responses from Shintaro at his idiotic ramblings.

 

 **Kisaragi Shintaro:** No, I’m making an educated guess towards what you are going to do next.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** There’s a difference.

 

He rolled his eyes. That sounded more pretentious than anything he could even have said in response. Kuroha would have just accepted that, yes, he is an asshole.

 

 **Kuroha:** How do you know I’m not just going to buy you a stuffed animal or something though?  
**Kuroha:** Or maybe I give you a hamburger.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** You could.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** But it’s a lot more likely that you’ll just shoot me in the head, toss my body in the alley, and walk away like nothing happened.  
**Kuroha:** Wow, all I was trying to do was ask you on a lunch date.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** Wait.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** Are you actually trying to ask me out?  
**Kuroha:** I  
**Kuroha:** Wait.  
**Kuroha:** Did I say date?  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** Why are you hesitating?  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** Oh god, you’re not kidding, are you?  
**Kuroha:** … I shouldn’t have said anything.

 

“What am I even doing?” The raven haired teen gripped at his locks, trying to figure out if the boy was right. Nervousness around the other that he’d never experienced. Elevated heart rate and pain when Shin made comments that showed how much he disapproved of him. How empty he felt when Shintaro tried to say that he didn’t want to be friends. None of these feelings he’d felt before, and no one had ever made him feel this way. He’d admit, he’d never really talked to anyone other than Kano, and that wasn’t much for conversation. Even then, Kano wouldn’t remember if he’d tried to talk to him like normal and a reset happened. Shintaro would. He’d always found the teen interesting, but he always had the least amount of contact with him. He could only do what he did with all of them, and watched from a distance, learning what he could when he wasn’t busy. Could his interest in the boy become romantic? He didn’t see anything he he found unappealing about the NEET. So it wasn’t impossible…. But, this probably wasn’t the way either of them should have found out. ‘ _Shintaro probably hates me right now…_ ’

 

 **Kisaragi Shintaro:** I can’t believe this.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** You actually have a thing for me.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** How did this even happen?  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** When did this even happen?  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** … Why did this even happen…

 

This _would_ be the teen’s luck. Out of everyone who could ever have any sort of feelings for him, it would be _Kuroha_. The heartless snake that would murder him and his friends multiple times wanted to just… date him? It had to be a joke! … Right?

As much as he wanted to pass it off as the snake playing a cruel joke, the long period that Kuroha spent typing unnerved him. He glanced at the window, still no sign of him. Shintaro just looked over the chat log. He was starting to notice that Kuroha had spent the entire  conversation on the defensive, as opposed to last time, when he was being vaguely threatening. It was almost obvious that he was trying not to get mad. Maybe Kuroha was being genuine with him. He wasn’t sure if that was good or should scare him.

Finally, the message alert rang out.

 

 **Kuroha:**  Even I can't say when, there are hundreds, probably thousands of loops, enough that I lost track and that many years have passed. Years that you and I remember but no one else will. I've seen some strange things happen. But, well, when do the words "you look nice in red" stop meaning "covered in blood", when does that one rare loop where things are different stop being a convenience cause you have one less person in your way, and instead make you disappointed cause that's one less person you'll actually meet. When do you start hating the conditions of your stay in this world just because of what you have to do to others. When do you start going onto internet chat rooms, wading through hundreds of people who want nothing to do with you, just so you can have a calm chat with one person you know will be there... I can't pinpoint a when, although the multiple loops explain how, I could never give you a why... I don't think that this is a thing that can be explained like that.

 

Shintaro’s face was as red as his jersey. This… This wasn’t fake. Kuroha was in love with him. Someone actually loved him. He buried this face in his hands. Did Kuroha understand what he was doing? Either way, he couldn’t bring himself to just outright reject him, but there were still problems with this situation as a whole. He sighed, turning back to his keyboard.

 

 **Kisaragi Shintaro:** I wasn't really expecting a response like that from you, but it doesn't sound like something you could just make up anymore, so... I'll give you the benefit of the doubt from now on, alright? I'd go as far to say I'd consider being your friend, but... well, we both know why that's never going to happen. You said it yourself, it'll only make things more difficult later on.  
**Kuroha:** Oh…

 

Kuroha had never been so excited only to have his hopes dashed in an instant. He didn’t want to kill anyone anymore if it meant he could be friends with Shintaro. There had to be some way to get around this. He needed to do this. If he could prove that he’d changed maybe he and Shintaro could have a chance.

 

 **Kuroha:** Hmmm…  
**Kuroha:** Okay... Okay... I'm the one here who can grant wishes... so... You never made a wish, you, somehow, got your powers, even if they came with a pretty shitty downside.  
**Kuroha:** I still don’t get it  
**Kuroha:** But think hard.  
**Kuroha:** Try to think of this in a way that won’t backfire.  
**Kuroha:** Make a wish.  
**Kuroha:** The rules say that, as long as I have a wish to grant I can stay. So... maybe this is how I can stop having to kill your friends.

 

“Wait? What!?” Was Kuroha still serious? If he was, Shintaro could protect his friends for good. But this was a bit overwhelming. What could he wish for that would keep Kuroha there with him.

 

 **Kisaragi Shintaro:** Y-you're seriously putting all this pressure on me--?!  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** Alright, just give me a minute to think about this.  
**Kisaragi Shintaro:** ...would it be possible to just wish for your existence to continue without having to grant any more wishes?  
**Kuroha:** Hmmmm… so a “free the genie” sort of thing?  
**Kuroha:** Well, I don't see a downside there, the main reason why wishes backfire is because people wish for themselves... you're... making a wish just for me... I.. Shiiiiiiiin, this is so sweet of you!

 

‘ _Oh god is he already trying to flirt with me?_ ’ Shintaro’s face reddened again.

 

 **Kisaragi Shintaro:** D-don't mention it, alright? I'm only doing this because I think you're being genuine about wanting to be friends!  
**Kuroha:** Yes, of course. Bet your friends will all be surprised when they find out. Just.... make sure the deceiver can chill. He's threatened my life on many occasions, I doubt he'll be as eager to listen to me as you were.... and you weren't that eager in the first place anyway.  
**Kuroha:** Alright, I'm gonna do it. I'm going to grant your wish. I'm not exactly sure what will happen, but if all goes well, we can meet up for that lunch date. I have the money. I can pay for it.  
**Kuroha:** See you soon, Shintaro-kun~

_**Kuroha has left the conversation** _

 

Shintaro lay there, slouched over his desk, a cheek laying flat on the cold wood. The reality of what happened crashed down like a wave. His friends were safe, but now, he was friends with the ethereal snake of the clearing eyes, Kuroha, who had taken over Konoha’s body, and was **in love with him**. His face flushed again when glancing at the computer. He probably was trying to flirt with him. He could just hear the tone of his voice in the message. “What have I gotten myself into…”

 


	3. I am not the one you know (Chapter 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shintaro knew that the would eventually come that Kuroha moved in with him. After all, Shintaro was the one who insisted it. As soon quickly as he'd adjusted to finally being left alone again, he had to set that aside and let Kuroha in, giving up his privacy and personal space. But, maybe another point of view was just what Shintaro needed...

It had been a while since the fateful encounter where Shintaro had made his wish. Kuroha had to make sure that the haze had done its magic. Shintaro had made that wish in August and it was now December. He’d kept in touch with the teen for the entire time. He had to lock down all his research and raise up some extra funds before moving out. It was a deal that he’d made with Shintaro shortly after they exchanged phone numbers. Shintaro would let him stay at his house until he could find another place to stay. Kano would lead everyone to his lab if they weren’t careful. They needed to avoid that at all costs.

When the subject of Kuroha was brought up around the Dan, Shintaro always managed to successfully derail it, if it didn’t derail itself. They seemed not to really care as long as they never saw Kuroha again. But, if they knew what Shintaro was planning, they would probably ruin everything. He knew he was taking a risk, but if Kuroha was honest about what he said, he deserved at least one chance.

They seldom saw each other over those 4 months, and when they did, it was always late at night. Kuroha showed Shintaro his lab out of trust. Shintaro didn’t look around much, considering how expansive the lab was and how a lot of functions of it were shut off, but it was enough just to see it. He could now find the lab on his own if he needed to.

Then the day finally came when Kuroha was ready to move out. The moment the phone went off at 11 at night, Shintaro knew what was happening. He was quick to respond, eager to get this worry off his shoulders.

 

[December 14th]

 

 **XX**  
Heeeeeeeeey Shiiiiiiin~

 **Shintaro**  
Hey Kuroha, haven’t heard from you in a while.

 **XX**  
Yeah, sorry about that, been trying to wrap up some things so I haven’t exactly had time to stop and chat much. But, the good news is that I’m pretty sure the wish went through.

 **Shintaro**  
Well, you’re still here so I guess so.  
It’s still going to be difficult telling the others about this though.

 **XX  
** Yeah... Especially considering that the wish made me stay here, didn't like, make my my own body or anything, so kinda stuck in this one. Better than being a 40 foot snake, though.

 **Shintaro**  
Just give it a few days. I’ll think of something. You can stay at my place while we’re waiting, as long as you stay in my room and make sure Momo doesn’t see you.

 **XX**  
Alright. That's really kind of you, Shin. Especially since, if they haven't noticed anything strange yet, they'd probably come to the facility under the school attempting to stop my now-non-existent plans.

 **Shintaro**  
Don’t mention it. Besides, if they know you’ve stayed with me for awhile and haven’t pulled any  murder attempts, then they might be quicker to trust you  
It’ll still take a while, though, you know.

 **XX**  
Yeah, I know…  
Trying to make up for thousands of murders isn’t something you can do overnight.  
I don’t expect any sort of instant gratification out of this.

 **Shintaro**  
They’ll warm up to you eventually.  
And if not, then you’re always welcome here with me.

 **XX**  
Wow… Thanks Shintaro  
That means a lot to me…

 **Shintaro**  
Well, I made this wish for you to be here  
It wouldn’t make sense if I just left you now.

 **XX**  
Yeah, so I owe this entire chance to start a new life to you. And sorry, was just trying to see if I had any things I should bring along. I'm pretty sure this body probably doesn't need to eat and sleep, but it gets hungry anyway....

 **Shintaro**  
Kuroha, you’re _human_ now.  
I’m pretty sure you need to eat and sleep.  
But don’t worry about bringing anything. There is enough at my house for you.

 **XX**  
Honestly, the little circuit looking thing by my eye made me think this was some sort of robot body or something until I noticed I had a heart beat. But whatever.  
More reason for me to take you to lunch like I promised!  
What does soda taste like?

 **Shintaro**  
The elixir of the gods

 **XX**  
Hmmmm… I guess I’ll have to try it, then!  
I’ve mostly ended up drinking water and tea.  
On a scale of 1-10, how sneaky should I be trying to get to your house?

 **Shintaro**  
I’ll make sure you try cola as soon as you get here, because it’s a downright crime that you haven’t tasted it yet.  
And I’d say 11.  
I don’t want to find out what Momo will do if she finds you sneaking in...

 **XX  
** Guess you should leave your window open or something so I can avoid doors at all costs.

 **Shintaro**  
Alright, I will  
Just try to get here fast. I don’t want to freeze in here.

 **XX**  
That should be no problem in this body.

 **Shintaro**  
Good.  
See you soon, then.

 

Shintaro walked over and slid the window up, feeling a gust of chilled air rush in. He wasn’t sure if he hated winter or summer more. His room was insulated from both and his heat and air condition negated the effect, but there was always the reminder that it actually exists the moment he stepped outside. At least with cold he could bundle up, but at the same time, the snow made it harder for him to travel, even if he didn’t get out of the house much to begin with. If it wasn’t for the fact that Kuroha would soon be his house guest, he’d make the Dan members come visit. Maybe they’d like the long trek through the snow.

Shintaro slipped into his red jersey, feeling himself warm up a bit with it on. “Much better…” He loved his jacket. Fond memories returned to his mind as he remembered all the good times he had while wearing it. No one seemed to understand why he cared so much about it, but it didn’t matter. It was important to him. He just lay on the bed, expecting Kuroha to take a while to arrive, and he thought he’d have a chance for a short nap. It was late anyway.

Except outside he heard a quiet thud. “Kuroha…” He flinched. “You promised to be quiet…” There was a rustling in the nearby bushes before a louder thud. He looked over by his window. The taller man sat up and looked nervously at Shintaro. “Real stealthy, Kuroha.”

“Well, I needed to get here fast, but the strap on my pants snagged on some of the hedges outside…. Sorry.” He chuckled slightly, trying to get up. ‘ _One of my first impressions on Shintaro and I’m making an idiot out of myself…_ ’ The snake sighed to himself.

“Alright, let’s just hope that you didn’t wake up my mom or sister, or we’re screwed.” This was far from what Shintaro was expecting, but he could manage. As long as he could keep Kuroha hidden, they were still good.

“Yeah….” He slowly dusted the snow off of his shirt and closed the window, taking a moment to take in his surroundings.

“So…” Shintaro realized that, in spite of how much time Kuroha had spent trying to prepare himself, he hadn’t taken even a moment to straighten up his room. ‘ _Whoopsies…_ ’

“So _this_ is what you room looks like when it’s not splattered with blood.” Kuroha let out yet another nervous laugh. He wasn’t exactly good at small talk.

“Yeah….” He scratched at his neck hesitantly. “It’s still not very pretty…”

“Well, it’s a place to stay and that’s all that matters.” He took a moment to assess the situation. He didn’t want to invade Shintaro’s personal space and didn’t exactly know where he was welcome. There was a computer chair, which he was obviously using, and his bed, which was obvious not something Shintaro would share. So he just sat on the floor. “It’s not like I expected you to clean up or anything.”

“H-hey, you got here in a couple of minutes. It’s not like I would have had time to clean up.” He took his jacket off, draping it over the back of the chair. With the window closed, he could finally take it off.

Kuroha held his arms up defensively. “I actually meant that I didn’t expect you to. I need to work on my inflection…. I probably just sound naturally sarcastic and cruel.”

Shintaro sat at the computer, returning to his usual activities. Ene had been out a lot more now that she had more friends, so Shintaro had a lot more leeway and free time. He could finally get back to making his music. “Welcome to the wonderful world of being human. You can’t exactly expect to be sarcastic and cruel all the time. …. Well, you could, but I wouldn’t suggest it.” Shintaro glanced away from the screen. His words came from experience. He spent most of his teen life not caring for anyone else… It got him into this trouble to begin with. If only he paid more attention, if only he noticed, maybe then she’d still be here, maybe then-

He had to stop thinking about… her. He had to _forget_ about it. If he didn’t forget about what happened he’d just keep letting it haunt him until he just _snapped_ and did something he _really_ didn’t want to do.

Instead of focusing on the crimson taking up his vision, Shintaro looked at the man who had just stumbled into his room as sternly as possible. This was rather hard for him, seeing as they both were awkwardly sitting there with very little idea of what to do. He felt it was time to make things to clear once and for all and hope Kuroha had a good memory. Which he probably did, since he seemed to remember just as much as Shintaro did, if not more so. “Okay, look, if you’re going to live under my roof you have to follow my rules.”

Kuroha almost wanted to roll his eyes, but he nodded instead. “Yeah, what rules?” Considering that most of their day to day activities would probably take place in this room, it couldn’t be that many things.

“Needless to say, murder is out of the question completely. You’re out of here instantly if you kill someone. Also, if you get caught by Momo or my mom, you’re out. I have no way to explain to them what you’re doing here. Second off, you better have some way to disguise yourself if we go out because the Dan, however lazy they are being with it, are looking for you.” Kuroha nodded taking mental notes. “Lastly, your behavior. Since you obviously have never been close enough to another person to understand what personal space is and how to treat other people’s things, I’m going to have to teach you about this. No sleeping on my bed. No messing with my things. No touching without my permission. This means no unwanted hugs, kisses, and so on. I know you have interest in me. You’ve made that more than clear enough by now. But I don’t really know how comfortable I am with you coming onto me and getting all touchy feely, even if we are friends.”

Kuroha tilted his head. “But you hug your friends, don’t you? What makes me any different?”

“Kuroha, it’s hard to explain…” He started scratching his head, blushing. “It’s just… kinda _gay_ …”

“What does that mean?”

Shintaro stared for a moment. “Gay?” Shintaro blushed even more. “You know… gay… It’s what it’s called when two guys like each other or two girls like each other…”

“You need a word for that?”

Shintaro was dumbfounded. “... Yeah. I mean, aren’t most people straight anyway? I mean, I already have seen it pretty apparent in most of the Dan. Seto is really close to Mary, Kano is dating my sister right now, much to my annoyance… And I’ve… liked some girls before.”

“Okay, I get it. The penis and the vagina do the thing and you have small womb children that run around and play and eat all your food. That’s not exactly the standard. I recall researching what this world knew about snakes. Not all snakes hook up with opposite gender snakes. It seems common among animals for this to happen. I don’t see why it matters so much.”

“People can get a little… angry when they find out someone is different, okay? I just don’t want to give off implications that I’m gay if I’m seen outside holding hands and hugging you.”

Kuroha tilted his head again. “Shintaro, please. I don’t see why that even matters. I mean. We aren’t dating. You let me move in because you felt like you should since you wished me to stay on this planet. You gave me a place to stay and I’m thankful. But this is just lunch, Shintaro. It’s two guys going out and eating. We aren’t dating unless you say so. This lunch has no meaning other than for me to try to be nice for all that you’ve done for me these past few months. Only you can make this lunch have more meaning than it does. So let’s just move past it, alright?”

Shintaro was kind of in awe. He almost never heard anyone approach the subject that way. ‘ _I guess it would make sense for snakes to have no concept of what gay is._ ’ Still, this man thrived on human psychology, so Shintaro would think this would be something Kuroha easily could have found out about. “Kuroha. How did you not know about this stuff before talking to me? Like, you would want to know about people, right? Why wouldn’t you- Wait what are you doing…”

The snake had plopped down on a pile of clothing that was next to Shintaro’s bed. This was just getting ridiculous. Did he just talk about personal space? “Oh, what? You told me that I couldn’t sleep on the bed. So what did I do? I don’t have a mattress of my own to sleep on. I’m not going to sleep on the floor. I’m just making do with what I have.”

“But… those are my…” He shook his head rapidly. This was pretty much his fault for not preparing more for his arrival. He’d had 4 months to prepare for this and in the end, this was what it got him. A more than 6 foot tall man sleeping on a pile of clothes that he couldn’t tell were clean or dirty anymore. “Whatever. Guess you can sleep there.”

“Good. I don’t think the floor is soft enough anyway.” He rolled over. “And to answer your question, why do you think I’d want to know how humans mate and the standards they set as a society like that. ‘Gay’ or ‘straight’ really don’t carry a meaning to me. Please don’t flatter yourself either. You’re cute and all, but just because I’m taking you to lunch doesn’t mean I want to get in your pants. What is with these humans…” He yawned. “Get some sleep. You’re going to need your energy. I don’t exactly have a car so we’re walking tomorrow.”

Shintaro’s face heated up. “I wasn’t trying to say-!” He just sighed. “Forget it…” Shintaro took a swig of the room temperature cola before kicking off his slippers and plopping into bed. “Goodnight Kuroha…”

“Goodnight, Shintaro-kun…”

All was silent until Shintaro realized something. His face heated up. ‘ _He just called me cute…_ ’ The NEET let out a quiet groan. ‘ _Why is this happening to me?_ ’

 

~*~

 

It was around 7 am the next day when Shintaro was greeted to the sound of a soft voice. “Heeeeeeey Shin~” There was only one person who it could be.

“Morning, Kuroha.” Shintaro stretched slightly, sitting up in his bed.

“How’d you sleep? I’ll admit, considering I used to sleep coiled up around a giant floating rock, your clothes piles wasn’t that bad.”

Shintaro was having a hard time registering what Kuroha was saying to him. He was talking so fast and for how tired he was, he was just barely registering what the seemingly hyperactive snake was saying. “Not bad, I guess.” He let out a yawn, glancing at the clock. The sight got him wide awake. ‘ _7am?!?!_ ’ He looked at the smiling snake who was just barely leaning on his bed. “But did you really have to wake me up _this_ early?”

Kuroha chuckled weakly. “Hahaha… Sorry. Honestly, I’m more used to being up all night and resting during the day, so this is a change for me.”

“Well, daytime is when most other humans are awake, so you’ll have to get used to it.” He stretched again. At least this was better than being woken up by loud threat alarms for different countries. “Seriously though, at least let me sleep in a little next time.”

Kuroha’s face turned into a pout. “Alright, Sorry… I’m just kinda thirsty.” While it wasn’t a flat out lie and Kuroha was thirsty, it wasn’t something that would wake him up. He’d been having a tough time sleeping for more reasons than just trying to change his sleep pattern. He just felt really nervous when trying to sleep. It shouldn’t have been a big deal, but he was getting some anxiety. He was sure that after a while of staying with Shintaro, it’d go away. But right now, he needed to talk a little and calm his nerves.

Shintaro blinked. Was that really why he’d been woken up? He’d guess it was for the best if Kuroha asked him to get him things until he was sure it was safe. “I can grab something from the kitchen if you want. I'm not sure if you'll want to come along or not, since I'm not sure if my mom and Momo are awake yet…” He slipped on this slippers. This wouldn’t be difficult at all.

“Right… It’s probably for the best that I stay here, then.” Kuroha slid away from the bed and back into his clothing pile of a bed. “I am still curious. You mentioned letting me try cola when I was preparing to come here.”

The younger teen’s eyes widened. “Ugh! I must have been so tired last night that I forgot!” He practically jumped out of bed at this.  “Just… wait here. I’ll get you a bottle.” With that, Shintaro practically stumbled out of the room and ran to the kitchen.

This gave Kuroha a moment to observe Shintaro’s room more closely with less paranoia. While a large amount of the room had random piles of clothing lying around, there weren’t any near the computer desk. From over the bed, he could see a rabbit cage next to the computer desk. It was a small albino rabbit. Considering the fact that he was a snake, it was no wonder that once they met eyes, the small bunny fled from sight. It wasn’t like Kuroha planned on eating it or anything…

His eyes drifted from the cage to the computer chair, and he could see the red jacket still resting there from the day before. It looked… warm. Kuroha shivered. He didn’t have a blanket either, and even with his new, “human” body, he couldn’t generate the amount of heat necessary to remain comfortable in this frigid weather. Maybe he could borrow it for just a little bit…

He crawled around the bed to the chair, snatching it quickly and draping it over his shoulders. It was so… warm. It was no wonder Shintaro loved it so much. The warmth greatly helped him calm down. It was also still pretty soft inside. He almost felt like he could fall asleep sitting there. “Warm…”

Within a moment or two, Shintaro returned with the bottles of soda, which he nearly dropped upon seeing Kuroha. “I’m backandwhatareyoudoing?”

“Uhhh… Your jacket is very warm?” Kuroha plastered an innocent expression on his face, but he was almost sure that Shintaro was going to count this as an invasion or personal space or something like that. It’d been less than 12 hours since he’d gotten here and he was already breaking rules. This wasn’t going to be good.

Shintaro just rapidly shook his head, trying to figure out what could have caused Kuroha to think this was a thing that he should do. “O-okay. Just… try this.” He handed the bottle over to Kuroha, fidgeting slightly as he tried to figure out a way to get his jacket away from the snake without making it seem like a big deal. He wasn’t angry or anything. He’d just have liked Kuroha to ask first before taking his clothing.

“S-sorry, I’m still a snake at heart. I just like warm things…” Looking over the container of bubbling brown liquid, he wasn’t sure if this was something healthy for him to drink. Shintaro seemed to be staring at him excitedly, his eyes widening as the cap was twisted off and the typical hiss was released. He could only hope this wasn’t some kind of sick trick. ‘ _Well, here goes nothing._ ’ He took a quick swig of the sweet liquid, eyes widening as he tasted it. “O-Oh..” It didn’t take long for Kuroha to have drank half the bottle. “You were right, this is good!”

Shintaro let out a sigh of relief, smiling slightly. “Didn’t I tell you? No one else seems to understand my love of cola.”

The snake started to slither back to his spot on the pile of clothing. “Yeah! People who cut this out of their diet surely are missing out.” He continued to sip from the bottle, his tongue flicking out occasionally as if that might get it into his mouth quicker.

“Finally someone who understands me!” Shintaro grinned, although he quickly realized what he’d just said. ‘ _Someone who understands me…?_ ’ He watched the snake intently. Maybe he was overreacting. It was just finally someone who liked soda as much as him. They hadn’t formed any sort of bond yet. This was a fluke. At least it wasn’t another person breathing down his neck for always staying inside and drinking “too much” soda.

The serpent looked back at him, returning his smile. “Thank you for this.”

Shintaro was still trying to get his earlier thoughts out and almost blushed as a result. “Well, I promised you I’d get you soda, didn’t I?”

“Still, it was nice of you to do so.” Kuroha wasn’t sure if Shintaro really understood his gratitude. He was pretty much taken in by a boy who he’d killed multiple times. And now Shintaro was giving him food. He was being almost excessively nice to him and it touched him deeply.

“It was no problem, really. Our fridge is full of the stuff.” He scratched at his neck guiltily. He was pretty sure that if the soda ever ran out he’d probably die, much like with his computer, but at least getting soda was a lot easier than buying electronics. There were plenty of vending machines near by in case of emergency.

Things were oddly silent for a bit, Shintaro just watching as the snake finished his soda and then, surprisingly, went to lay down again. The only difference was that now, Kuroha was using his jersey as a blanket. He sat on the bed, nudging the sleepy snake. “Kuroha, are you okay?” He looked down and saw him nuzzling up against his foot. He forgot for a moment that he himself was also warm. He slowly moved his foot away.

“Yeah… I just like warmth... Just… do a little research on snakes. We relax when we’re warm…” He curled up tighter, finally feeling that anxiety fade away.

“But weren’t you the one who wanted to wake up early?” Shintaro was getting a little annoyed at this now. Couldn’t he just make up his mind?

“Oh yeah… You wanted more sleep though… we aren’t going to lunch until the afternoon anyway… we can sleep in.” A like that, Kuroha was out of it.

Shintaro couldn’t explain anything that had just occurred here, but either way, he could catch some more sleep, and Kuroha was happy.


	4. Scars (Chapter 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After much relunctance and preparation, Shintaro agrees to go out ot lunch with Kuroha, inspite of every fiber of his being wanting to avoid social situations as much as possible. He wasn't even sure if he was more nervous about his own lack of social skills, or Kuroha attempting to be a human. Who knows, maybe he was over reacting....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I renamed chapter 1 to "The Judge" because The Judge by Twenty One Pilots fits better for that chapter and Scars by Mr.Kitty fits better for this chapter.

Those few hours of sleep worked wonders for Kuroha. He woke up feeling rested and relaxed. Of course, he also still had Shintaro’s coat. As expected, Shintaro was quick to coax him to let go of the garment. He had a feeling that this wouldn’t become a permanent blanket for him, given that this jacket seemed to have some sort of special significance to him. He was quick to run through past loops in his head. He noticed that he never wore this jacket in the “bad” routes. But then again, none of the past loops were really “good” because they always ended in death.

As he turned the jacket back over to its proper owner, Kuroha thought about all the blood that was on his hands and how many different horrible endings he’d gone through. How many repeating cycles of the same actions with the same consequences had they even gone though? It was apparent why he saw humans as a whole as fickle creatures. They still made the mistakes over and over, even when given the chance to change. But this is what made Shintaro different. Shintaro could remember the past failures. He could make a change.

Kuroha had one wish now. He wanted to make this a good loop, and possibly even the last loop. He would make this one better. He’d do it for Shintaro.

The remainder of the morning was spent with Shintaro going over human “hygiene” procedures. It was annoying in Kuroha’s opinion, but he knew it would be important to functioning like a “human.” He’d learned about using the restroom and showering early on. He didn’t know about the extensive personal care humans went through; dental care, hair removal, hair care, and millions of other things that just seemed excessive to his snake mind. It was important that he did mention most of this when he did. Shintaro emphasized that until Kuroha could figure out the daily routine of Shintaro’s family members, Shintaro would escort him to the bathroom for all his needs. It was incredibly awkward however, considering Shintaro would just stand in the corner, staring intently at the wall while Kuroha did his business.

When it came to food, it became apparent to Kuroha that Shintaro couldn’t cook… at all. He could maybe prepare a sandwich, but that was it. This made learning to cook a thing to put near the top of his to do list. Cooking, considering what he saw in cook books, looked like a science. Measuring out chemicals and ingredients to create the ideal meal. If there was one thing that Kuroha could do, it was science.

But, today wouldn’t be a day to learn anything excessive. This day was a day to celebrate. He finally moved in with Shintaro, the first step on his way to redeeming himself with the Dan. He was going to take Shintaro out to eat, no matter how reluctant Shintaro was to do so.

“Hey, Shintaro, can I borrow some clothes?” The snake glanced over at the teen. They’d finished their routine and Kuroha was just looking at the NEET with a towel around his waist.

“Why can’t you wear your own clothes,” he grumbled, drying his hair off. He was wondering if this was another attempt by Kuroha to get his hands on his jacket or a legitimate request.

Kuroha stood there, gesturing at his entire outfit. “You don’t think that this outfit right here is just saying ‘look at me, I’m someone you should notice as being weird?’ Cause I do.”

Kuroha did have a point. After all, if he wanted him to blend in, he’d have to help him out a bit to disguise himself. The other, with Shintaro’s advice, didn’t bring much with him. He had a small bag and his phone. He only owned one set of clothing, and if he wanted to stay incognito, it’d probably be best that he helped Kuroha. “Fine, just… let me get dressed first. And _no watching_.”

The snake rolled his eyes and sat on the bed, removing his boots and placing them to the side. “I should shower, yes?” He glanced over at the younger teen who had pulled on a T-shirt and a pair of boxers.

“Yeah, thankfully everyone else is out of the house right now so you can go to the bathroom on your own for once. Here.” Shintaro tossed a olive green t-shirt and some black pants at Kuroha. “These were too big on me anyway, so you can borrow them.” It was easy for Shintaro to tell why he never grew into them. He’d had a bit of a stunt in his development when he’d locked himself away, but that was old news. He never did eat the best. Sometimes, he remembered days where he barely ate at all.

The taller teen made it to the shower quickly. He didn’t want to waste any time. The fact that Shintaro was even humoring this lunch was still amazing to him. But, stripping down the rest of the way made him realize that he probably needed to do laundry as well. It wasn’t like Shintaro’s mom would just blindly wash a set of clothes that she would be sure her son wouldn’t wear. He could do laundry. He could help Shintaro out. It was the least that he could do considering how much Shin already did for him.

Shintaro sat in his room for a while, wondering what was taking Kuroha so long. It didn’t take _that_ long to wash up. “Kuroha… you better not have gotten into trouble already…” The shorter male shuffled down the hall to the bathroom, pulling the door open. “Okay Kuroha, what’s taking so- Why are you putting on make-up?”

When he’d marched down the hall, the last thing that he’d expected was Kuroha applying foundation. The snake scowled. “Hey, you told me to make sure I could disguise myself. Do you really think someone with my complexion would go by without notice? Especially with the circuit on my eye and these yellow eyes with slitted pupils? Well?” Shintaro could hear hissing, and flinched away as black serpents started to crawl out from Kuroha’s naked back. All the NEET could do was stand there and utter nonsense. “See, you have no argument. Now let me finish up here…” Kuroha gently pushed Shintaro back out of the room, closing the door, and recalled his snakes. He’d have to control that in the future. The last thing he’d want would be to lose his temper and then someone ends up bitten.

After a moment, his snakes were fully calmed and he could continue with his “makeup.” He considered the possibility of using body paint next time because using concealer on his arms was weird. He had to seal it as well, so it wouldn’t come off. He decided to skip out on his hands. He chose rather to opt for fingerless gloves so he wouldn’t end up rubbing it off on his food.

Returning to the room, a slightly nervous Shintaro stared at the wall. “Hey, Kuroha. I’m sorry about what I said. I keep forgetting that you’re not really familiar with human culture so that was kind mean of me. So let’s move o--” Shintaro turned to look at Kuroha, and his eyes widened. The makeup had given Kuroha a slight peach tone to his skin and hid the circuit on his face pretty well. Instead of their usual golden hue, Kuroha’s eyes were now much more green and believably human. The taller male wore a slightly baggy olive colored t-shirt with a black long sleeved shirt under it (probably Kuroha’s own shirt), and long black pants. Much to Shintaro’s surprise, the headphones Kuroha seemed hesitant to remove were not on his head but instead rested at his neck. The rest of his clothes were neatly folded in his hands. Shintaro was speechless.

But… He couldn’t figure out why the taller male’s appearance gave him that feeling. He knew he didn’t feel anything for Kuroha beyond his friendship. Maybe it was just that he was amazed that he could pull off the look of a human so well that it actually looked… he couldn’t find a word that could describe it without seeming like he was trying to hit on Kuroha. The last thing he’d want would be to lead Kuroha on when the snake has shown that he has feelings for him… He had to make sure not to imply that he-

“Oiiiii, Shintaro!” The NEET snapped back to reality to see the snake leaning forward, an eyebrow cocked. Shintaro didn’t realize he’d been staring. He flinched, almost falling back in surprise. “Geeze, are all human’s like this or is this just you being a weird shut in?” Kuroha smirked.

“S-shut up!” Shintaro turned away, adjusting his own jacket. “Are we going to do this ‘date’ thing or what? I mean it IS your idea after all.” And just like that, the snake’s human charm was gone and they were back to this sassfest. “Let’s just get it over with.”

“Of course.” He rolled his eyes. “Let’s go. I’ve been looking up restaurants. It’ll be a bit of a walk, because I can’t drive or anything, but I found a place.

“Oh boy, walking…” Shintaro sighed, checking the hallway. “Okay, I don’t think that mom or Momo are home. But are you even sure that this is safe? I mean, what if the Dan sees me out with you?! What then!?” This was something that Shintaro had overlooked when he made this agreement. Hiding Kuroha in his house was one thing, but out there, he’d have no idea who was where.

“Would you relax a little. If another snake was nearby, I would know. I always know. If I feel their presence, I’ll just hide our presence and activate my powers.” He stretched, bored of Shintaro’s panic already.

“Which are???” Shintaro was skeptical. “You mean that power to stab people with your bare hands, or smash them into walls or run up behind people and shoot them in the back of the head?!” Shintaro’s eyes flashed red, remembering many, many different timelines. All that ended when Kuroha took everyone’s life. He always had a smile, every single time...

It was then that Kuroha’s eyes flashed red and Shintaro stopped recalling past routes. More like… he couldn’t. “That, my friend. If you ever wondered how I got a slight upper hand against your strong friend so many times, that’s it. They don’t call me the Snake of the Clearing Eyes for nothing.”

“Clearing… Eyes…?” It took a moment to register with Shintaro what he’d said. “The ability to cancel out the other snakes?”

“Bingo. It might be in my best interest to stay alert. If Kano comes sneaking around, I’ll just activate my power, cancel out his deception, and then we can hide. Same goes for if the concealer is walking around with her powers up or anything. They won’t find us.” Kuroha placed a hand on Shintaro’s shoulder reassuringly.

“Yeah… sure… Let’s just go.” He opened the door, starting to scoot out. “And, uh… Thanks for stopping my thoughts… They were getting… out of hand.” He looked away. His stomach was not ready to relive the blood and gore that Kuroha had become so accustomed to. Considering that just the sight of his own blood on his desk make him queasy, he didn’t really want to relive those memories again.

“Y-yeah, no problem…” Kuroha nervously scratched his head. He’d admit to himself that he was doing it more so that Shintaro would stop talking about the horrible things he’d done than for Shintaro’s own sanity at this point, but he appreciated the words nonetheless. He’d probably have to stop him from remembering some things if he ever wanted to get anywhere in this friendship.

~*~ 

The fresh fallen snow from the previous night dusted lightly over the sidewalks and added to the snow that had already piled up on the sides. A glistening wonderland such as this would be such a beautiful sight to any normal person, bundled up and ready for a leisurely stroll.

But Kuroha and Shintaro weren’t exactly normal people.

The chill of the winter season served to remind Shintaro how much he enjoyed his life of solitude in his room. His well heated, air conditioned room with a comfortable warm bed that he could still be in right now if it wasn’t for the snake’s lunch offer. He’d emphasized that he wasn’t really one for going outside, but he’d feel bad if he turned down the other’s offer.

So, he trudged down the walkway, a scarf wrapped around his neck and hands shoved deeply into his own pockets. He was never more thankful that his jersey was so well insulated, although he probably could have used a winter coat. He just prefered this one now.

However, maybe he should have had more foresight about Kuroha’s opinion on cold. He should have thought that there was some reason he was more active in the summer. If he had, maybe he wouldn’t have the snake clinging to him with a death grip right now.

“Kuroha… could you _please_ let go of me…!” There was one thing to be said about Kuroha invading Shintaro’s personal space in terms of clothing but this was a step too far.

“Shintaro, it’s _freezing_ out and you expect me to go around without some sort of coat? ”

“You should have brought a coat.”

“You should have _given_ me one. I’m a snake. I hate the cold. You should have remembered that from when I first showed up at your house.”

Shintaro thought back on that time. Kuroha had come in slightly covered in snow, brushing it off almost immediately before closing the window. He did seem to be shaking a bit, and he’d realized that prior to that, he never had really met with Kuroha outside the sterile warmth of his own lab.

Looking at Kuroha, without his headphones on or his neckwarmer present, he could tell that his body was having a difficult time dealing with the cold. He didn’t even think of this when he gave Kuroha clothes. “Okay, okay, fine, one second.” Shintaro pushed Kuroha off of him, moving the headphones from around Kuroha’s neck up to his head, covering his ears and took the scarf from around his own neck and wrapped it around Kuroha’s. “Just… there. I can’t give you my coat but maybe this will help.”

Kuroha pulled the scarf up to cover more of his face. It was surprisingly warm, although it shouldn’t have been so surprising since Shintaro was wearing it just a second ago. “T-thank you, Shintaro. You really didn’t have to…” Kuroha’s slight blush was hidden by the scarf as he returned to hugging the younger man.

“K-kuro…!” Shintaro grumbled again. “I thought the point of that would be that you _wouldn’t_ cling to me!”

“Covering my ears and neck is not equal to giving me a coat, Shintaro-kun.”

The NEET rolled his eyes. “Let’s just get to the restaurant then, Kuroha. I’m getting more uncomfortable by the second.” It wasn’t the worst thing, but he knew it would only last until they got to the restaurant.

~*~

Eventually, after a long, awkward walk, they finally arrived and Kuroha let go of the nervous NEET. He didn’t even bother to make a comment about how “gay” Kuroha’s actions were, because Shintaro had a feeling that Kuroha didn’t see his actions that way. It was hopeless.

Kuroha held the door open, welcoming Shintaro to the warmth of the great indoors. Even he wanted to get inside from the cold. Kuroha was warm, but it wasn’t that comforting to him when the Dan could possibly see them at any point. How Kuroha could be this positive in his skills that he was willing to be seen in public with him like this. If they saw him, all they’d worked for the past few months was wasted.

When asked where they’d like to sit, Kuroha looked at Shintaro. Since Shintaro really didn’t want to have to give Kuroha culture lessons right now, they just went with western seating. Kuroha smiled, taking the scarf off and putting the headphones back at his neck, and walked with Shintaro as they were seated. While Shintaro had taken a moment to remove his jacket and calmly open the menu, he noticed Kuroha staring hungrily at the menu. “Kuroha… you haven’t been been eating much, have you?”

Kuroha stared blankly at him. “Shintaro, remember our phone conversation yesterday? I didn’t exactly eat after that.” As if to punctuate his point, a loud growl escaped Kuroha’s stomach. “So yeah, I’m gonna eat whatever I want. I deserve it after that… c-cold hell.”

“We could have waited until spring to do this ‘date’ thing, you know?” Kuroha ignored him, taking in the wide selection of different things he could try. _‘He really needs to take care of himself… He’s human now and humans need to eat more often than he is… We should also look into winter clothes for him… Maybe some shampoo and toothpaste so he doesn’t have to use mine… All that preparation and we still weren’t prepared for him to move in…!’_

It was Shintaro’s turn to look over the menu now. While the snake seemed to see a large amount of food that he could consume, Shintaro just saw too many options. He was afraid that, even if he tried something new and might like it, he could also dislike it just as much. His aversion to sweets made that apparent. It’d probably be a huge risk if he took something new, tried it, and hated it. He had no idea how much money Kuroha actually had, so he didn’t want to push it. He’d probably just get a standard lunch and that would be it. He didn’t really eat that much anyway. … In retrospect, it was hypocritical for someone like him to talk about eating habits.

“So, are you two ready to order?” Shintaro looked up nervously from his menu at their server. “Or do you need more time? Cause I could always just go get you two some drinks. Would you like some tea?”

Kuroha glanced at Shintaro and sighed, knowing exactly what Shintaro was thinking. “Could we have some cola, please.” Shintaro hung his head as their server walked away. Kuroha just patted his back. “Don’t be so nervous, is it really that odd of a request?” Kuroha smiled, attempting to cheer up his friend.

“Kuroha…”

“Yes, Shin?”

“Please _stop touching me_.”

With that Kuroha awkwardly pulled back, not only had he been leaning over the table but he was probably invading Shintaro’s personal space, again. He really needed to get better at this.

Shintaro kept trying to psyche himself into ordering something unique for a meal but every time he thought about it, he just thought about what Kuroha might pay out for some of this stuff and what would happen if he didn’t eat the meal. It all just went back to basic lunch. Every time he looked up from the menu, Kuroha was just looking at him as if to ask why he was taking so long with deciding on his choice. It had only now hit him that he’d probably been sitting there for at least 15 minutes. He knew that Kuroha wasn’t judging him, but after how awkward he got with just the drink order, Kuroha was probably concerned that he would panic again trying to get out his order. His social skills really had suffered since he went into isolation. He almost felt that Ene was in the right with making fun of him for that.

Their server eventually came back with two tall glasses of Shintaro’s favorite cola. At least one thing was working out right for them. “Now, are you two ready to order?”

Shintaro closed the menu, let out a sharp exhale and attempted to gain his resolve. He would do this. He would order without stumbling over his words or anything. He would assimilate back into normal society! He made very determined eye contact and quickly stated his order. “I’ll just have a standard lunch platter please, with pork as the meat option?” A small sigh of relief escaped his lips. He’d gotten it out without sounding like a complete idiot like that last time.

“Alright, and you, sir?” The server looked at Kuroha, who was trying desperately to hide his hunger.

“Alright, I’d like an order of Takoyaki, and some Okonomiyaki, please!” Shintaro stared at Kuroha for a second. Kuroha looked so happy with his food choices, and the server seemed happy to finally have their orders. Kuroha just took a sip of his soda, glancing back at Shintaro. “Is something wrong, Shintaro-kun?”

“Kuroha, I’m just checking. You know what you are ordering and not just picking things based on how the names sound, right? Cause you literally just ordered a cabbage pancake with a side of fried octopus.”

Kuroha blinked. “Shintaro, I know what I’m doing. All this food actually sounds very delicious, and I was tempted to order more. I’m sure I’ll love it!” He smiled. “You should live a little yourself, Shintaro-kun. I mean I know you already ordered but if we ever go out again, you should try something new!”

The snake was met with a stare from the NEET before Shintaro buried his head in his arms. “We aren’t going out, we’re getting lunch together and _stop with the Shintaro-kun we’re not that close._ ”

Kuroha simply rolled his eyes, taking another sip of his drink. “You need to chill. You’re taking so many things too personal.”

“You might be right but please watch your wording.” Shintaro lifted his head, finally taking a swig of his beverage. The satisfying fizz helped him relax. This lunch only meant something if he let it. He had to remember that.

Eventually, their lunches came, Shintaro being greeted with a simple lunch of rice, miso soup, and some pork. Kuroha was met with some small breaded fried balls, which reasonably must have been filled with octopus, and what almost looked like a large pizza to Shintaro. That is, however, if the pizza was mostly a crust with cabbage fried into it and the sauce drizzled over the crust in a zigzag pattern and the toppings spread throughout. That, Shintaro was sure, was the Okonomiyaki. A large pancake of sorts with cabbage as the main ingredient other than the batter, and it seemed that his had some green onion bits in it, some thin pork bits, maybe some other vegetables that he couldn’t make out other than flecks of color, and somewhere in there was a fried egg. All of this was covered in Okonomi sauce and Japanese mayonnaise. It was certainly a sight to behold, and also a sight that made Shintaro’s stomach quiver weakly. Could Kuroha even eat that much?

“Thank you for the food.” They stated in unison.

And with that, they both started to dig into their food. Well, Kuroha dug in, Shintaro was just taking it slow, testing the waters to make sure he enjoyed what he ordered.

Across the table, however, Shintaro could see Kuroha’s super speed at work, even if it was only a fraction of what he was capable of. He must have been really hungry. It left Shintaro in awe that someone could even physically eat like that. Admittedly, he almost wanted to compare Kuroha to a rabbit with how he could see him slowly chewing up some of the cabbage. But the more he observed while slowly eating, the more he realized who Kuroha really reminded him of.

_Konoha._

Shintaro had almost forgotten the soft spoken, tall, amnesiac albino android that he’d made friends with so many times in the past. He was always friendly, always hungry, always there for everyone. He was one of the nicest souls that Shintaro had ever met. Shintaro… hadn’t seen him this timeline.

Shintaro… _wouldn’t_ see Konoha this loop.

The nice friend he’d made so many loops in a row was gone, and in his place, this deceitful snake was sitting there. He was just eating normally. He didn’t have guilt about what he’d done. He could just sit there in the body of someone he killed and just keep living normally. It made Shintaro slightly nauseous. He was just picking at his food at this point, his eyes flickering red every few seconds as his memories came back of how many times he’d seen his friend die. That friend who almost reminded him of someone else… Someone who he hadn’t seen in a while… Now who was it?

“Shintaro-kun? Hello? Is your food okay?” The NEET snapped out of his daze, looking at Kuroha, who was giving him a concerned look. “You know, if you are having a hard time with your food, you can try some of the Takoyaki. It’s pretty good and there is enough for both of us.”

Shintaro had almost forgotten that he was at lunch right now and should be eating. His eyes returned to their normal dark hue as he eyed the small balls sitting before him. Whether it was his train of thoughts being interrupted that stopped his powers or Kuroha sneaking in an eye clearing, Shintaro didn’t know, but he was glad he stopped thinking about that. “Oh, right. Thank you.” He felt like it’d be rude for him to not at least try the seasoned octopus, even if he’d never tried it here before.

He reached out hesitantly with his chopsticks, lifting the squishy ball onto his own plate before lifting it to his mouth. Slowly, he took it into his mouth and took a bite.

It… wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t his favorite thing in the world, but it wasn’t bad either. It was a little chewy but the flavor was rich and tasted fine. He swallowed, and let out a relaxed sigh.

“How was it, Shintaro?” The snake tilted his head.

Shintaro smiled slightly. “Pretty good, thank you.” The NEET returned to his own food at this time, trying to forget about the friend that he hadn’t even made this loop and focusing on the friend he had made instead.

~*~

Eventually, both of them finished their food, Kuroha with a smile, but Shintaro only trying to stop from becoming sad again. He sat there, sipping his cola as Kuroha paid the bill in full and they left.

Kuroha quickly adjusted his clothing again, covering his ears with his headphones and returning the scarf around his neck. He wasn’t exactly looking forward into going out into that frozen hell again. He was a bit concerned, however, with how quiet Shintaro had gotten since they started eating. He almost wondered if he’d managed to make Shintaro feel awkward. He already knew the younger male didn’t exactly want to go out to begin with and would have probably been happier just getting food delivered. He didn’t want to make Shintaro uncomfortable, even if they both knew that they couldn’t just stay inside forever.

It was when he tried to cling to Shintaro while walking that Kuroha got his answer. Shintaro was already annoyed with it to begin with, but when Kuroha tried to grab him again, the NEET moved out of the way. “Shintaro-kun?” He questioned, nervous that he’d upset the other.

Shintaro couldn’t make eye contact with the other and took a moment to get words to come out. “Kuroha…” He struggled to get his message out. “You know, you told me that you hadn’t killed anyone recently before coming here. That was a lie. I know because I’ve seen it before. You killed Konoha to steal his body. Right?”

“Shintar-”

“Kuroha…. we are going to need to be honest with each other if we want to stay friends. I didn’t think about it at first, but I realized that I hadn’t seen Konoha this loop while we were eating. I know it might not seem like a big deal to you, considering how you’ve been acting, but… it’s still someone who isn’t alive anymore because of you. Hell, even my old teacher was your last vessel, right? And he’s dead now too?”

Kuroha hadn’t really looked at it that way. He was just following how the timeline had been laid out for him time and time again. “Shintaro…. I’m sorry, alright. I can’t bring him back, even if I tried. I know that my snakes came out earlier and you probably associate that with my transformation, but at the same time, I am pretty well bonded to this body after you made the wish to keep me here. I couldn’t take another vessel if I tried. Please… just… do you have it in your heart to forgive me?”

There was a pause. The silence sent more chills down Kuroha’s spine than the cold air did. Shintaro was obviously considering his options. If Shintaro wanted to, he could kick Kuroha out of his house at any moment for this.

“.... I forgive you. Just… don’t lie to me anymore, alright?”

Relief swept over Kuroha like a wave. “Thank you, Shintaro-kun. But hey, think of it this way. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be here with you and the timeline would probably have been reset.”

“Heh… I guess you’re right.”

“... Can I please leach off your warmth on the way home?”

Shintaro chuckled. “Alright, but when we get home, we’re gonna order you at least a jacket, alright? Cause not gonna lie, this whole thing is pretty awkward and you know exactly why.”

Kuro rolled his eyes, a smile still on his face. “Yeah, I know why _you_ think it’s awkward. Let’s just get home.”

“Yeah, let’s go back to the nice warm house, away from this outdoor hell.” He grinned, walking as Kuroha clung to his back. “And then maybe you can tell me more about those snakes of yours.”

“Yeah, that sounds kinda nice…”

 


	5. Polarize (Chapter 4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After having time to consider Shintaro's request, Kuroha starts spilling information to him. Although, some of what Kuroha has to tell him Shintaro really doesn't want to hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting this, it needed some feedback and I finally got all the feedback I needed. It's a little exposition heavy but it's worth it.

After the conversation after their lunch, things went relatively back to normal between Kuroha and Shintaro. Or, more like they set the tone for how things should be. Days would pass with them both inside of the small room, protected from the harsh winter, not doing much of anything. Shintaro’s life consisted mostly of using the computer to play games and talk on forums. Kuroha wanted to participate, but Shintaro was only pc gaming without any sort of consoles in his room. Kuroha’s best substitute were the apps on his phone, but with limited phone space, he didn’t have much that he could get. He could probably get his own computer, but at this moment he was okay with just the phone. The computer could come later.

Kuroha figured eventually, as he grew closer to Shintaro, they’d have more stuff they could do together. As it was, Kuroha could only sit in Shintaro’s room, occasionally gazing over his shoulder as the NEET went on rants about various anime, or messing around on shooters and rpgs, the latter type more often than the former, as most first person shooters had gore, and Shintaro couldn’t handle it.

Instead, Kuroha would follow through on his word. Whenever he thought of it, he’d pull Shintaro away from the computer and sit down to explain things to him. Sometimes it would just be a little thing, like explaining his own small snakes who would occasionally pop out and slither up his arms and rest on his shoulders. While Shintaro thought maybe they were like the snake inside himself and the others, they seemed a lot like pet snakes if anything. They served Kuroha no purpose other than company and affection, and maybe some coiling.

“If you keep acting this way, Shintaro, I’m going to need their affection~” Teased the snake.

“Shut up, Kuroha.” Shintaro groaned, but he was smiling. It seemed to be a much more normalized thing now. Kuroha would occasionally say things just to get the reaction out of Shintaro and Shintaro would still turn him down, but both of them were joking, so no one was hurt.

Kuroha started with explaining his own powers to Shin, talking about how useful it is to have powers like his although they can be pretty useless in most cases. He explained how helpful it was to eliminate the opposition's defenses such as their invisibility, and to block out the mind reading abilities would make it so that they could never predict his plans. This is what lead to Shintaro asking Kuroha about all the snakes.

The concealing eyes, allowing someone mask their presence in front of others, barely being noticed at all. The stealing eyes, which allows its user to read the mind of anyone they want, hearing their deepest darkest thoughts, even if it’s owner didn’t like to use it. The deceiving eyes, which both Kuroha and Shintaro were very familiar with, was the power to manipulate what others see. However, this is where Kuroha bothered to tell Shintaro that the versions of the powers were dumbed down versions of them.

He told the story of his original master who had control over all 12 snakes, including himself. She was able to completely vanish and reappear elsewhere, to see entire thoughts and locations of exactly what she was looking for in a person’s mind, and to create elaborate illusions to throw off attackers.

Shintaro was in awe when he’d heard this. This made Kano’s ability to deceive others that he was someone else seem so… pathetic in retrospect. “But wait, who was the monster?” It was a fair enough question in Shintaro’s eyes.

Kuroha grinned. “Her name… Was Azami. She’s Mary’s grandmother and the original owner of the queen snake, which our current queen inherited when she died many years ago and arrived in the haze.” Shintaro’s eyes widened. “Oh, are you surprised? Your little friend is ¼ medusae. She carries two snakes in that way. It is in her blood to keep the Staring eyes. The power to turn others to stone. But because her genes are so diluted with human DNA, she can only freeze people’s movements for a few minutes. Her real powers with the queen snake, are the combining eyes. The ability to control all the other snakes. It is with this power that we are able to reset the timeline. If a tragedy befalls her, such as her friends all dying, she can use the powers if the snakes to create a new world. One where everyone is still alive. A much happier time. So she can continue living happily with your little human friends. Little did she realize the only reason she had these friends was the monstrous power her grandmother gave her that set this all in motion. So in the event that maybe, just maybe, you ever needed to reset the timeline, all you have to do, is kill all of Mary’s friends, and then tell her that she can change it back using her powers.”

Kuroha could see fear in Shintaro’s eyes. “Oh, you knew knew my motives but you didn’t know how it worked? Mary died hundreds of years ago when two farmers attacked her mom and herself. When she died on that August 15th so many years ago, Azami gave her the queen snake and it gave her a second life. Every person who dies on that day is swallowed into the haze as well, and those suited for snakes will receive one and return to the human world, alive, with these strange powers. The queen snake calls out to her kin. Those with snakes are drawn to each other. If you thought all this was just a coincidence, you are mistaken.”

Shintaro needed time to process this. It was no longer chance that he managed to encounter so many people and make friends. They were all just drawn to Mary. And Mary was a medusa..? This was starting to overwhelm his brain as memories of the past loops came back.

“Shintaro-kun, you of all people, with the memory of previous loops, should know that very little can be chalked up to mere chance. You yourself are the outlier. The boy without a snake that died during the first timeline and was able to keep his snake even after death. The retaining eyes. As if perfect to compliment your excellent memory and high intelligence, you gained the power to remember all the loops prior, making you one step ahead of everyone. You unraveled my plan with that simple fact.” The snake seemed happy as he talked about this. Shintaro wouldn’t know it but he almost wanted to hug him as thanks. “You had the power to change things, and you did just that. Remember, if it weren’t for your choices, the rest of your friends would probably have died and this loop would have reset.”

Shintaro leaned back in his chair, running a hand through his hair with a huge exhale. This was far deeper than he ever thought he’d get. It made him wonder how much of his life was something that was planned out for him. He knew that each loop was nearly the same except for a few details each time and it always fell into Kuroha’s plan perfectly. “W-wait a minute! What even really is your plan? I know whatever it is, it actually failed which is why you end up resetting the timeline to save your own skin!” Upon closer examination, Shintaro’s eyes were red.

Kuroha sighed and reluctantly activated his powers. “That’s a story for another day, Shintaro. I still have another 6 snakes to explain and this already seems to be overwhelming you. We can talk more tomorrow, okay?” Kuroha stretched, plopping into the pile of clothes that he’d made his bed.

Shintaro groaned and returned to his bed. Kuroha was right. The more he thought, the more likely he was to remember what happened in the past and the more gore would grace his vision. “Alright. But you aren’t getting out of this one and you know it.” Kuroha had seemed so into what he was saying earlier that it was pretty suspicious for him to suddenly stop. However, Kuroha was right. All this was a lot for him to take in and he was starting to get panicked again. “Goodnight Kuroha….” yawned the NEET.

“Goodnight, Shintaro-kun.”

~*~

 

The rest of the days would follow the same routine. Kuroha would explain a single eye power and its weakened state, but at the same time he didn’t get nearly as excited he did that last night. No matter what Kuroha said, Shintaro still felt he was hiding something.

He went on to explain Momo’s powers and what he’d seen in past loops. The snake of drawing or captivating eyes was one who would attract the attention of others regardless of interests. While this usually would be focused on the user, it was possible to use the powers to redirect focus to someone or something else. It wasn’t a power that the monster would use often, seeing as she didn’t want to be found out. Either way, Shintaro felt bad about this being the result of Momo’s wish. When they were kids he always got the attention for being the straight A student he was. If it wasn’t for that, maybe she wouldn’t have to deal with such a curse.

Shintaro was a bit suspicious when it seemed like Kuroha was going by Dan member rank, and then he skipped Ene, but he felt like it was logical. She was just a virus; viruses don’t have physical forms and therefore she couldn’t have a body for a snake to give a surrogate life. And viruses can’t die to begin with so why was he so concerned?

And then they finally reached an inconsistency that Kuroha was more familiar with than Shintaro about. “So, it appears that there are multiple vessels that can take the snake of focusing eyes. You said that, before summer ended, you saw a small girl at the Dan named Hiyori?” Shintaro nodded. “Alright, yeah, that’s kind of rare, but not too rare. I’ve seen weirder things happen in loops. Guess it’s just the way it has to stay cause the usual owner of the snake is still in the haze.” He glanced at Shintaro, seeing his eyes red. For once, Shintaro seemed to be in control of his powers, as opposed to being overwhelmed. He was proud of Shintaro. He knew Shintaro wasn’t fully in control yet, but he was happy regardless.

Shintaro raised his hand awkwardly. “What kind of weirder things have happened?” Shintaro could remember some of the timelines but it would only get so far before he’d see something he didn’t like and he'd need Kuroha to cancel it out.

Kuroha chuckled nervously, remembering a few strange timelines himself. “You know, things like people getting a different snake, or other strange inconsistencies. Having an extra vessel leads to these things happening.” Some fond memories of bloodshed filled his mind. “So anyway, the focusing eyes allow you to find the location of something, whether it be a person, place, or thing, and view it from an aerial angle. Very good for finding people and things you are looking for. I can be thankful that she had to return to her home town. If they were able to use her powers to find me… ahaha… Let’s not think about that.” He chuckled to himself nervously. He really feared the possibility of someone finding him before Shintaro was ready to share the good news with them that he was reformed.

Shintaro nodded nervously. He hoped that the Dan never realized that was a possibility either, cause chances are that they would see Kuroha out in his house and their plan would end easily if that happened. He needed to make sure that when he finally tried to show Kuroha to the Dan that it was on his terms and only after he figured that, regardless of what happened, this friend would be safe. If something happened to Kuroha because of him-

“So, Shintaro-kun, how about we talk a bit more about your powers while I’m thinking of it, lucky dan member 7~” Shintaro snapped out of his daze, glancing at the snake while was still sitting there, on the clothing pile. He blushed, remembering when he “joined” the Mekakushi Dan, and how embarrassing that experience sometimes was. “Now, we both know exactly what your power is, but… Shintaro, tell me, what happened to give you these powers? I mean, sure, I’ve killed you many,  _ many _ times before, but it was always right before the timeline reset. There is no reason, at all, for you to have this power, consistently, throughout the timelines, without dying.”

Shintaro had to think about this for a while. This had to have happened during the first loop he ever was a part of. There needed to be a reason that he would be given a power that, in retrospect, he never would have asked for, because the mental strain he’d been put through just the past few days as he was remembering things was much more than he could take. If it wasn’t for Kuroha turning his powers off when he started to remember violent things, he would probably be curled up in the corner, clutching his head and wanting it to stop.

Finally, his eyes flashed red with the realization of how this all started. “I… Mary… After everyone died, we were there, about to reset the timeline. The haze was open, and she was there with me. She took my face in her hands. And she asked me to promise to ‘never to forget this tragedy.’ She looked… so different. I guess she was in her monster form or something. But… she personally gave me this power. And, after that… I don’t know. I guess the timeline reset and I just… always had the power after that.”

“And the power just stayed dormant until you were exposed to something that started to trigger your memories. Fascinating…” He thought for a second. “I don’t know if the queen realized it but that was a really good move on her part. I mean. No matter how many times I kill you, you aren’t going to lose your snake. You really are the only one who could have changed anything.”

Shintaro blushed a bit. What was it with Kuroha trying to insist that he was so  _ special _ . As far as Shintaro thought, he wasn’t any more important than anyone else he’d met in his life, so why even bother. But Kuroha probably didn’t know how Shintaro felt after… that day happened. “Yeah, whatever. I’m pretty sure that even without my interference someone else could have caught your eye or killed you or something. I’m the least special out of everyone, so quit it!”

Kuroha rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say, Shintaro. No one else would trust me but I guess I wouldn’t put it past the others to try to kill me. Kano has tried, many, many times. Never succeeded though. Pathetic…”

Shintaro was getting a bit frustrated with Kuroha’s attitude. “Hey, enough about my stupid powers. Tell me more about you. And by that, I mean, tell me more about the original owner of that body…”

Kuroha cringed. “Of course you’d ask about that, Shintaro-kun. It couldn’t wait just one more day.” He took a long swig of his nearby cola. “So, you’re still wondering about Konoha, yes? Well, I can elaborate. The snake of the awakening eyes. That is the Konoha you knew. The owner of the body wished for a stronger body and that is what they got. However, their soul was too weak. They couldn’t hold onto control of their body, and thus, with what they could get of their host’s memories, they set out to make friends. The snake itself has the power to make the owner’s ideal body. This gave him superhuman abilities. What you thought was just a robot was actually a human with enhanced cyber abilities. They couldn’t get hurt or get tired, but still ate and slept a lot. And I inherited those traits.” He clenched his fist, thinking about what he knew of the other snake. “Of course, I took some liberties when I took over. Changed the pallet to something more soothing to the eyes, made these removable.” He tugged on the headphones, revealing his very real ears. “But, taking over came at a cost, you know… The other snake in here is injured now, and as a result, I lost one of the abilities. I maintain a strong body, but I lack the most important skill. Instantly healing and imperviousness to weapons. The snake when it was with Azami pretty much guaranteed her immortality because she could instantly remake her body, but I can’t do that. I’ll heal after a bit, but I can be mortally wounded… Just like Konoha was….”

For a second, Kuroha went eerily quiet. He wasn’t looking at Shintaro, or anyone in particular. He just seemed to just be zoning out, lost in thought. Shintaro felt uneasy. “Kuroha?”

“You know, I’ve been thinking about this for days now. About what you said. About this body. About Konoha and the snake of awakening eyes.” He went silent again, once again breaking eye contact with Shintaro. “I know I kinda just… nervously played off you calling me out on killing him, but… I don’t feel good about killing him and I hope you understand that. The more I think about it, the more I realize that the other snakes should be more than just tools for me to use to advance the timeline. Considering he gained sentience, I should consider awakening eyes, or “Konoha,” as you knew him, as more like a brother than anything. And, the amount of guilt that I feel over this, is… exceedingly high. It’s been bothering me a lot lately.” His eyes lowered to the floor. “It’s something I’m going to have to live with. I have this body now, so every day, when I look in a mirror, I’ll see his face. I’m alive because he died. I’m glad to be here, but if it was possible to change this, I would happily do so. But, as far as I can see, there is no way to do that.”

Kuroha’s voice was faltering and Shintaro could hear it. Shintaro never thought that the snake would be capable of feeling like this. Sure, he had seen that Kuroha was able to feel some emotions, such as love, and sadness, and genuine glee, but considering his attitude about the Dan, he never imagined that the other would truly regret his actions. Kuroha was showing actual remorse for murder, and Shintaro appreciated it. He awkwardly rubbed the other’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Kuroha. I believe you.” He smiled, handing the other another cola. “Now we just need to make the others see this.” Shintaro took the red jacket from his chair and draped it over Kuroha’s shoulders.

Kuroha smiled, taking the cola from the NEET’s hand. “Thanks Shintaro. It means a lot…” At least this proved that Shintaro cared about him. But as he curled up on his clothing pile, the crimson garment still draped over his body, he feared how Shintaro might react to some of what he had to say. There was only so long that Kuroha could put off talking about some of the last snakes before he’d have to admit to everything.

 

~*~

_ It was a rather bleak day as the snake observed this human ritual. ‘So, this is a modern funeral. Even the second time it doesn’t seemed to have changed much.” As he looked out through the crowd. Friends and family of that girl were seated throughout the room. No one could believe a girl as happy and nice as her could take her own life, but The Snake knew better. Nearby, he could see Kano crying, being comforted by his “siblings.” Sworn to secrecy, he couldn’t tell anyone what was going on. No one except the two of them would know the truth of the empty casket, or the truth about the other missing children’s deaths. _

_ Quickly growing bored of this, the snake gazed around using the eyes of his master, until his sights rested on one boy, paying respects at the casket, dressed in a plain school uniform. It was Shintaro. Out of his group of friends, Shintaro was the only survivor. Every single one of them had their life taken by Kuroha, one gaining the opening eyes and eventually becoming his virus companion. One gaining the awakening eyes but losing control of his perfectly remade body, eventually getting taken over by the snake. And the final friend, the one who he was witnessing the funeral of, Ayano Tateyama, the holder of the favoring eyes, who would never return from the haze cause she thought that it would save her friends. Shintaro’s closest friend. The reason he would lock himself away from the world for 2 years. Kuroha had talked to her and had influenced her choice to take her own life. He covered it up by having Kano pretend to be her corpse, hiding the fact she was in the haze. _

_ Shintaro looked so, defeated. So…  _ **_broken._ ** _ This entire ordeal was so traumatizing for him, it was painful for Kuroha to watch. To see Shintaro this upset now was like a knife to the heart. He wished he could take it back. Take it all back. Hundreds of loops back full of despair and pain he wanted to take back so Shintaro wouldn't be haunted like this anymore. Just make it all  _ **_stop_ ** _. _

Kuroha woke up in a chilling sweat. His dreams reminded him of what he was dreading.

As much as he hated it, he’d have to come clean to Shintaro. He couldn’t hide this anymore.

 

~*~

 

For a few days, Kuroha kept quiet about his usual babble for a few days. Shintaro found it normal enough. The last conversation that they’d had was very emotionally straining for Kuroha. It was only expected that he’d want to not talk about things for a while. Shintaro wasn’t exactly super impatient about things. He could wait for Kuroha to calm down to hear more about the snakes.

When Kuroha finally decided to talk again, Shintaro was more than ready to hear him out. He sat excitedly in his chair, waiting for Kuroha’s words. “So, we’re gonna talk about the rest of the snakes, right?” Shintaro smiled, getting ready to finally have the full answer for what happens each loop.

Kuroha smiled slightly, sitting on the edge of Shintaro’s bed, althought his insides were torn up with worry. “Yeah, the last two snakes…. I hope you’re ready for this.”

“Yeah, I’m all ears.” Shintaro glanced away nervously. “And uhhhh… sorry about interrogating you about Konoha last time we talked about this stuff. I know it upset you and I don’t like pressuring you like that.”

Kuroha broke eye contact, scratching his head. “Yeah. Don’t worry about that now, though, it’s fine.” It took everything in him to get out his next words. “I… have more things to confess about…”

Shintaro cocked an eyebrow, looking at Kuroha suspiciously. “Go on…”

“You see, by now, you know that not every death that happened to bring potential hosts into the haze were accidents correct? And you know how desperate I was to follow through on my plan, right?” Kuroha could feel his body starting to tremble. He felt sick remembering the dream he had last night. Shintaro just nodded slowly. “Well… I had to kill… a few people to progress my plan. You see, you may remember a professor Tateyama at the school you used to go to?”

Shintaro froze up, a sickness forming in his stomach at what Kuroha might be mentioning. “W-why are you bringing him up?”

“Shintaro… he was my vessel before this one. The one I used to earn money to bring together all the snakes. I did… horrible things while in that body, and tried to pick up the pace of my plan from that point, plotting to kill some of the students at the school to get more snakes into this world. I… may have been planning to kill a certain person. An… Enomoto Takane.” Shintaro’s eyes widened and his fist clenched in rage as his eyes flashed red. Kuroha cringed. “And well… taking over Professor Tateyama was probably not the best option for me, however. Because… his daughter found out about my plans. And in an effort to stop me, she decided to take a snake for herself and never leave the haze. That’s why… Ayano killed herself… I’m sorry, Shintaro-kun…” No response was given. “Shintaro-k-”

“Kuroha…” Shintaro hissed under his breath. “Why…? Why did you keep this from me!?”

“Shintaro-ku-”

“Don’t ‘Shintaro-kun’ me!” Kuroha flinched at Shintaro’s voice raising. “Y…. You said you only killed one person. This makes 3!” Shintaro was seething with rage until a realization hit him.

Ayano died, but it wasn’t his fault… Well, it still kind of was, he could have tried to talk her out of it. She was dying to save others but that did nothing. She died for no reason cause Kuroha would just reset the timeline and try again. And what did that mean for Takane? She was dying for no reason. Just so Kuroha could advance his plans.

Shintaro’s eyes were bright red, almost feeling a headache coming on with these memories, so many memories of his time at high school with his small group of friends. Ayano was always supportive, albeit airheaded, and Takane would always get into pointless arguments with him that would fuel his ego. Although he was still depressed and cynical back then, he still enjoyed his time with his friends. They were all taken away from him that day. Ayano, and Takane… and… and… Gah! Something was still missing.

He lifted his head momentarily to see Kuroha standing there with his own red eyes canceling out Shintaro’s powers, perhaps thinking that it would calm him. But it wasn’t going to work. This wasn’t something that could be fixed by just… forgetting about it. Shintaro tried that, and look where it took him. He was a recluse for a reason. And that reason was  _ Kuroha _ .

He turned away from the taller man, head resting in his arms on his desk. This was exactly the kind of reaction that Kuroha had feared he would get from the NEET. He wanted to reach out and touch him, give him a comforting shoulder massage or a pat on the head, or a hug, but Shintaro’s body language was easy enough to read. Touching was strictly off limits right now. “Shintaro?” called the snake, hesitantly. He got no response. “Shintaro-kun--”

“Don’t talk to me.” The words pierced Kuroha’s heart. He’d hurt his friend much more than he’d expected. It was going to take time for Shintaro to forgive him, if that was even a reasonable expectation at this point. Kuroha was honestly surprised that Shintaro hadn’t told him to leave.

Kuroha tried to open his mouth, but no sound was made. He couldn’t bring himself to even try to talk to the younger male. He’d hurt Shintaro and could only guess that he needed space. He needed to respect that. He moved away from the desk, and the bed, and right into his clothing pile. He mumbled out a “goodnight, Shintaro” that he wasn’t sure was even audible, before curling up on the pile.

It was next to impossible for Kuroha to sleep with his thoughts racing, but as he uneasily drifted into slumber, he thought he heard one thing. He thought he’d heard staggered breathing, and sobbing.

 

~*~

 

Just like that, the way of life that Kuroha had become accustom to came crashing down. No more polite wake up calls to Shintaro were heard. Not much talking happened at all. Kuroha had made a horrible mistake.

Kuroha woke up to silence, save for some typing on the keyboard. The NEET sat at the computer, dressed in a black pullover hoodie instead of his usual red jersey, lazily browsing the internet, completely ignoring Kuroha’s presence. His disposition had completely changed in the matter of a single night. Kuroha was only vaguely familiar with this side of Shintaro, because when Shintaro normally got this way, he didn’t last long enough to meet him.

Kuroha walked over, attempting to greet Shintaro in spite of his gloomy aura. “Morning Shintaro-kun.” All he was met with was fervent tapping at the keys and near silent breathing.  _ ‘At least he’s still alive right now. Don’t know how I’d explain to the Dan if he were dead.’ _ He spoke up again but was brushed off a second time. This repeated until Kuroha felt too awkward to try to talk anymore. It was obvious that this wouldn’t be the way to apologize to Shintaro.

Instead, Kuroha decided to start taking on the tasks he set out to learn. He’d learn to cook and maybe that would improve Shintaro’s mood! Although…. he probably shouldn’t leave the room unescorted… This was a predicament.

He figured it wouldn’t be that much of a risk to at least try to leave, even if Shintaro would immediately shut him down. He reached for the doorknob and…

Shintaro did nothing. He just sat at the computer, typing away, without a care for what Kuroha did. Maybe he thought that Kuroha was just going to the bathroom and could be trusted that far. Maybe he trusted Kuroha to go out on his own without problem. Or… Maybe Shintaro didn’t care that Kuroha would get caught….

Kuroha would ignore this for now. This was fine, right? He couldn’t depend on Shintaro to escort him around, especially with how embarrassing it was for him to stand in the corner while Kuroha “did his business.” It was only fair that Kuroha started pulling his own weight. He could support himself, that much was obvious, so adapting to his new life, even without Shintaro’s help, wouldn’t be too hard.

Without Shintaro to stop him, Kuroha stepped outside of the room, and thankfully, no one else was home. There was probably a risk that Momo might come home at any time, since she was probably on her break for the holiday, but she did like the Dan a lot, so she was likely to spend most of her time there.

Instead, Kuroha would mooch off of the wifi a bit and start teaching himself to cook. That would be a great use of his time! He walked into the kitchen and looked in the fridge…

It was almost empty. “Fucking hell…” Kuroha sighed. He couldn’t really work to cook like this. Shintaro’s mom was probably going to buy more food later. Since Kuroha never went out on his own to the fridge, he never knew if this cooled cube was full or not. He groaned, looking at what he had to work with. He couldn’t make much of a proper meal, but he managed to at least pull together a somewhat respectable sandwich.

Considering no one was home, Kuroha sat at the kitchen counter, munching on the food that he’d just made. It was okay, nothing to write home to the haze about, but it was edible. Adding some sauces to it made it a little better, but it still felt like it was lacking something.

Even though he was happy with himself and what he’d done, he still felt… empty. And looking at his food, he knew why. It was the fact that he was eating alone. He barely ate on his own to begin with.

He wanted to share his meals with  _ Shintaro _ .

He’d only eaten half of the sandwich, so maybe be could surprise Shintaro with the prepared food. He grabbed a bottle of soda from the fridge and ran back to the room. Shintaro was still just browsing the internet absentmindedly. Kuroha smiled, sliding the sandwich piece next to Shintaro and giving him the cola. “Shintaro, I made us some food, hope you enjoy.”

The snake watched excitedly, hoping that Shintaro would enjoy his “cooking” and maybe give him a second chance? It was hopeful thinking. The sandwich was right there. Next to Shintaro’s hand as he clicked and typed. He just needed to pick it up and eat it. Yep, any second now, Shintaro would try his cooking and be proud of him again. Any moment now- Oh screw it, Shintaro wasn’t even acknowledging him. He wasn’t breaking eye contact with the computer and certainly wasn’t eating the sandwich.

Kuroha’s mood dropped instantly. No, this was fine. Shintaro probably needed more space, so maybe trying to give him food wasn’t the best idea. Hopefully he’d try it later. Shintaro probably wasn’t hungry either. He’d be alright. It was disappointing though.

Kuroha shrunk away, shutting his mouth again. He checked over his apps, but it didn’t take long for Kuroha to exhaust those options. He’d normally start shadowing Shintaro, but he knew he shouldn’t get too close to him. It left Kuroha with one option.

The older male returned to his “bed”, curling in on himself for warmth. While he wasn’t super tired, he hadn’t slept the best that night anyway. So this was fine. Shintaro probably needed more rest and he did too. This would get straightened out... eventually.


	6. Fake You Out (Chapter 5)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroha, unable to cope with his feelings, goes on an impromptu night walk to clear his head. But, maybe he shouldn't have left without a note...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, here's that second chapter I promised. I realized it'd been like... 2 weeks since the last time I posted. Oops.
> 
> And hey, I don't like asking like this, but considering that we are going to get into the meat of the story soon, I encourage you to comment and tell me what you think and what you like and dislike. It really helps motivate me and keeps my attitude positive. Thanks!

Kuroha lay staring at the ceiling, he was barely able to keep track of the passage of time without his phone at this point. Shintaro didn’t open the windows and the clock on the table had no meaning to him without a date. But, his schedule was more than irregular now. While he had started getting used to the way things were, he couldn’t adjust to this the same way. No one really had a set bedtime before, but Kuroha being there usually resulted in trying to be awake during the day and sleeping during the night. Now Kuroha was awake far more often than he was asleep, and would just pass out for a few hours at a time before waking up with little rest. Nothing exciting happened to keep his attention anymore, so he didn’t have much motivation other than eating or staying alive.

While he’d joked about it weeks ago, he was using his snakes for company and affection now. Shintaro was still giving him the cold shoulder and was probably oblivious to most of what he did. He wasn’t sure if Shintaro had actually ate any of this sandwich. He thought he may have seen a bite taken after he woke up a few days ago, but he couldn’t be sure. The entire soda had been downed though. Shintaro’s sleep pattern had grown out of control as well. Kuroha would notice him waking up at complete random times and going to sleep within 4 hours of waking up. His sleep was restless, although not quite as restless as Kuroha’s. 

But at least Shintaro was trying. Kuroha mostly just stayed in the clothing pile except for when he needed to eat and use the bathroom. He was disappointed in himself for not making himself do more, but he didn’t exactly have other options. This was the best way to avoid Shintaro. It was all he could do. Shintaro would reach out to him if he wanted to talk. He was sure of it.

But…. even with that mindset, nothing could stop the thoughts that would pop up in his head. For every happy or positive or optimistic thought that he had, Kuroha would always imagine the worst afterwards. His mind would run in cycles of defending Shintaro’s actions with a reasonable thought and then take a dark turn with an alternative answer that could be summed up with Shintaro no longer caring about him. It was a thought that haunted his dreams and resulted in him losing sleep.

Kuroha needed an out. Laying around the house was doing nothing for him. He had one idea. As much as he hated to give Kano credit for anything, he’d do what the boy did. A night walk, just to clean the clutter out of his head. It’d do him wonders, he just knew it. Not like he’d be sleeping any time soon anyway.

After assuring himself that Shintaro was actually asleep, Kuroha opened the window, silently slipping out into the frigid world. No one would notice he left, just like no one noticed he was gone from his lab until they tried to attack him and he stopped bothering Kano. He planned to always remain one step ahead of the humans no matter what.

He was surprised that Shintaro hadn’t woken up from the sound of his window opening and him climbing out, but for all he knew, Shintaro had just passed out from exhaustion. The boy didn’t seem to have any concept of time when he kept his curtains closed.

As he stepped outside, he was met with a white, frozen landscape. When he’d gone out to lunch with Shintaro, he hadn’t really focused much on the surroundings as he had on Shintaro. Considering how little he went outside as is, the sight was breathtaking. Everything was covered in a layer of fluff that crunched as his boots collided with the pavement of the sidewall. It was a welcome sight, given the fact that he’d needed to keep his mind off of Shintaro.

But it wouldn’t be the hardest thing to do either way, cause there was something Kuroha had nearly forgotten about. And that was that it was  _ freezing _ out. And without Shintaro there, he didn’t have anyone to cling to for warmth. He hissed under his breath, watching as the condensation in his breath made a small cloud in front of his face.

Now that he was out, what was he even going to do? He couldn’t exactly go anywhere super public, and most stores were closed at this time. Maybe he’d just fill this time whatever way he could. He could check out his lab and make sure that no one had managed to open it yet. If they’d opened it, that would be game over.

He glanced around, making sure no one was looking, and jumped onto a roof. The aerial view helped him stay more aware of his surroundings while also hiding himself from plain sight. He was careful navigating out of the suburbs and into nearby city, past the schools and the malls. The entire city was decked out for the holidays.

Checking a nearby clock, he could see it. It was already 3 am on December 24th. One of those human holidays was fast approaching. He remembered it well from his time with his old body. He never got to celebrate it himself and found the concept of giving gifts to someone you “loved” stupid. But now he was starting to feel that emotion, and… The fact that he probably wouldn’t get to celebrate it was starting to hurt.

No, he was trying forget about Shintaro. Maybe it would be in his best interest just to leave and not come back!... No, he was letting his pessimism get to himself. He had to distract himself…

And that distraction came easily enough. Without realizing it, his rampant parkouring had brought him near the far edge of the city, where the buildings were cluttered, and near the hideout of the Mekakushi Dan. Kuroha could sense it, another snake getting close to him before passing him and continuing out into the city. Glancing down below, he could see the hooded figure trudging through the streets and into the darkness. “Of course Shuuya would be out now.” He was unsure at first, given the mittens and scarf that he wore, but the familiar pattern on his jacket gave him away almost instantly. It wasn’t what he was hoping for, but it was a distraction. He could spy on the blond child and maybe it would help him learn about what he could about their plans. Well maybe not find out their plans, but maybe he could learn more about Kano and why he did these night walks anyway.

Thankfully for Kuroha, Kano never looked up at his surroundings, he just kind of hung his head as he walked along to a location unknown to the snake. The taller male was curious. He knew Kano wandered on his own at night, but he never knew where he went.

He wasn’t very surprised, however, when tailing the young boy, the path lead to a graveyard. Very familiar to Kuroha, he knew why they were here. Kano crouched down by one of the markers, his expression remorseful. It didn’t take much for Kuroha to recognize this as Ayano’s grave. Not exactly the kind of thing he needed to lift his spirits. While he had no sympathy for the blond, he felt bad about this death. Although both he and Kano knew she wasn’t dead. Well, she was, but not permanently. If only he could reach out to Ayano and get her to come back, without her thinking that he wanted to kill her to get all the snakes. Maybe, if enough time passed, that would be possible…

As Kuroha lost himself in thought, he watched the younger male stand up and start pacing away from the grave. He’d assumed that Kano would continue off to the Dan now, but his path appeared to be going further away from it.

After some more tailing, it was easy for Kuroha to see that Kano was heading towards the school, and towards his own previous hideout. He didn’t have much to worry about, he’d sealed the place off a while ago, but it still made him anxious to think about the blond getting in there again or finding out about how he’d left the base for Shintaro’s home. It wouldn’t just spell disaster for his boarding plans, but for Shintaro’s trust with the Dan as well. He’d need to stop that from ever happening. Shintaro was too kind to lose all these people who care about him.

Kano walked into the strange parking complex, working his way towards the hidden passage to the rest of the facility. Of course, that passage was locked and sealed. Kuroha, lurking in the darkness, watched amusedly as Kano tried to force the door open with his pathetic human strength. He was no Konoha, so his pathetic kicking and tackling of the hidden door did nothing. He had to hold back a chuckle. Can’t give himself away now, can he? Ahhhhh, watching Kano struggle was great. Something about that boy’s suffering made his heart flutter a bit.

Kuroha’s internal chuckling was cut short as he heard mutters under Kano’s breath. His head hung in despair. “Ene… I will get you your body back.” The breath caught in Kuroha’s throat and he dropped behind a concrete support beam.

Memories flashed in Kuroha’s head. He’d almost forgotten all the things he’s changed. Kano usually would come and take Ene’s body back before they attacked, but Kuroha had sealed off the lab and stopped their assault before it even started. As a result, Takane’s body rested on life support while Ene stayed in her digital form, seemingly granting her wish while at the same time trapping her to be crushed if in the right situation. Kano still wanted to get that body, although he never really gains anything by helping Takane. He hurt her way more than he helped. Kano was nothing but trouble. But Kano’d say the same thing about him.

Eventually, the blond walked away, never spying the snake who sat behind the pillar. Once he could no longer hear the footsteps, he stepped back outside into the harsh winter. His attempt to escape his thoughts lead him back into a bigger pool of guilt and it was starting to hurt. He’d get Ayano out of the haze, he’d get Takane back her body, he’d make it up to Shintaro… if Shintaro would even let him try.

He glanced at the street clock. 5am. Two hours had already passed since he left the comfort of Shintaro’s room. He shivered. This was gonna be a long night.

 

~*~

 

Weak sunlight peeked through the window of the NEET. He tried to ignore it but given that he was barely sleeping anyway, it didn’t take much for him to stir. He forced himself up, throwing his legs over the edge and looking at the idle computer. It was starting to bore him a bit.

The thoughts that had been circulating through Shintaro’s head hadn’t been the most positive ones. While at first he thought that maybe there was some hope in him getting his dead friends back, he saw it as fruitless. He had no way to get to the haze to save them. It made everything so pointless. He couldn’t do anything to help them. His own existence was pointless. He wasn’t helping anyone and no matter what he did, he wasn’t able to change anything. It didn’t matter how many times he was told how special he was. He wasn’t special. He couldn’t change anything. If he was really the one who would change everything, he should have gained his powers years ago so he could protect his friends.

He stared at the floor for a while. Was it even worth getting out of bed at this point? He wouldn’t be doing anything productive for the rest of the day, so why not just kick back and sleep for another few hours. The world could wait. It was probably better off without him.

He kneeled on the bed, leaning to pull the curtains to block out those irritating rays that shined through the glass and woke him. He just needed darkness, peace, and quiet. This would be easy enough.

But as he turned to lay back down, he noticed how quiet it really was. The only sounds were his own breathing and heart beat. Even when he was laying silently in bed, there was always the sound of another person breathing. Kuroha wasn’t there. The pile of discarded clothing contained no more than an imprint of his “friend.” 

_ ‘Eh… he probably went to the bathroom. Maybe that’s what woke me up…’ _ Shintaro slid under his covers, pulling the blanket over his head. He was too tired, emotionally and physically, to care too much right now. He’d wake up in a few hours and Kuroha would be there doing… whatever it is Kuroha had been doing for the past few days.  _ ‘What has Kuroha been doing these past few days anyway…?’ _

Shintaro blinked. He’d just realized that he hadn’t paid Kuroha any attention in a few days. Unease crept into the NEET’s heart. He just curled up under the covers, ignoring the feeling in his chest. “Just go to sleep, Shin. Don’t worry. Everything is fine. Everything… is fine.”

 

~*~

 

The sun rose on the horizon, causing Kuroha to emit a satisfied hiss. The night had been long and  color  cold, so the sunlight served only to warm him slightly. He had never been more happy about his clothing choice than right now. He’d probably be much happier if his over shirt didn’t have large holes in them, but he’d deal.

He didn’t even care how cold it was outside. He wasn’t even human. He wouldn’t get hypothermia. He wouldn’t die that easy. The world could stuff it for all he cared. He’d fight against the frigid winds. He knew it was going to snow later, so maybe he could figure out what he was going to do before that. 

He was free to do as he pleased. He still wouldn’t kill anyone, although the prospect of the Dan getting in his way left the option tempting. But he’d made a promise. A promise to Shintaro. As tempting as it was, he wouldn’t break the promise that was the reason he was there.

As much as he hated to admit it, as he’d watched the sunrise, he started to come to terms with what he’d done. It happened in thousands of timelines and happened in the current one as well. Ayano and Takane were dead and Shintaro had no idea how to talk to them again. He’d happily help Shintaro find them, but another thing that he’d come to terms with was that the younger male might not ever forgive him for these things. Could he really blame him though? He  _ did _ lie about the amount of people who he killed. He’d skirted around the subject for weeks after Shintaro told him to be honest. Had he learned nothing? He really  _ hadn’t _ changed, had he? Shintaro’s feelings were valid, so maybe it was best that he’d left.

But there was something that made him guilty about considering it. Maybe it was the fact that he’d left without a word, the fact that Shintaro took him in to begin with. This was originally just a walk to clear his head. He was probably over thinking what Shintaro thought of him. Maybe they just needed to talk it out.

But Shintaro might not even want to talk to him at all anymore, so why even bother? His head was clear now, and all it did was remind him how upset Shintaro was him. 

As he felt the presence of another snake, he ducked into an alleyway and hid. He didn’t want to do deal with the Dan right now. If it wasn’t the retaining snake, he didn’t want anything to do with them. Being out by himself like this worried him. He didn’t have any of his humanoid makeup on, so his abnormal appearance would get him outed in no time. He was panicking. It couldn’t end for him right here…!

Eventually, the sensation went away. The other person had left. He was safe, for now. He couldn’t afford to just walk blindly like he was doing, there was too much risk to it.

_ ‘Shintaro is probably worried sick about you. You should head back now.’ _

The thought crossed Kuroha’s brain. But… he wasn’t even sure if it was his own. He was sure Shintaro wouldn’t want to talk to him, let alone even care about him. It left him with an uneasy feeling. He’d push it aside for now. It was just… a random intrusive thought. Shintaro didn’t need him, right? He’d be fine without him.

 

~*~

 

It was almost halfway through the day. Shintaro had been awake for a while now. He couldn’t get himself back to sleep at this point. He woke up at about 10, expecting to see Kuroha balled up on his clothing pile, but he wasn’t there.

Kuroha had been missing for a while now. If he’d already been gone since before Shintaro woke up the first time, then that would mean he’d been gone since before the sun even rose. It made him anxious.

He’d admit, his first response to Kuroha leaving was “good riddance”. But in the silence of his room, he had more time to think. He hadn’t been paying much attention to what was going on outside his own personal world. He was buried in thoughts full of regret and sadness and was actively pushing Kuroha away for a while. His thoughts were irrational for a while. He regretted every decision he made over the course of the last few years.

It was his fault for Ayano dying, his fault for Takane dying, his fault that he’d lost all of his friends. His mind couldn’t paint it any other way. It was his fault for not trying to get closer to them. It was his fault for not finding out about their problems. It was his fault for not noticing.

Kuroha was gone.  _ It was his fault for not noticing. _

It wasn’t like it wasn’t obvious that Kuroha was trying to make it up to him. He’d been trying to talk to him, making him food, checking up on him. But Shintaro shut him down every time. He actively ignored him. He pushed him away. And thinking about everything, did he really have a right to? Sure, Kuroha had lied about how many people he killed, but it was two years ago. He didn’t know he was going to fall for Shintaro 2 years later. He didn’t know any of this was going to happen. Shintaro was upset at the truth, but it wasn’t something he could blame Kuroha for. Not now. Did Kuroha know he was going to fall in love? He obviously didn’t.

The NEET’s breathing was uneven. He could see the half a sandwich in the trash and shivered. It was obvious how much Kuroha was trying to look out for him. Kuroha was trying his best to make it up to him. He just didn’t have experience or know how to deal with emotions and when Shintaro shut him out and wouldn’t listen… Kuroha must have just given up.

The problem now was if Kuroha was safe. The Dan was out there, that was certain more than anything. They could find him. They could confront him, but then what would happen. If Kuroha sticks to his word and doesn’t kill anyone, then they’d probably capture him, interrogate him about how he came about owning Konoha’s body, and try to get his plan out of him. But now Kuroha had no plan, and he doubted that anyone would ever listen to him when he said he was turned good. And they would both be damned if Kuroha told them who was keeping him hidden this whole time. Harboring the enemy was probably one of the worst things he could do in the Mekakushi Dan. Shintaro was a traitor, but a traitor for the greater good. He wanted them to all see how much Kuroha had changed, but it was too soon for them to expect that. He’d wait at least a year before telling them, that was what he decided.

Alternatively Kuroha could kill them but that would probably just result in a timeline reset… although it wasn’t August 15th, it was December 24th. He wasn’t sure they could even reset the timeline on any day other than during the Obon festival. But Kuroha wouldn’t do that, right? He’d just run away, right?

Either outcome would be bad for both of them. Why hadn’t he at least told Kuroha to give him space when he bothered him, why’d he have to ignore him? Kuroha admitted himself that he’s not immortal, even with his powers. If they tried hard enough, Kuroha would be dead. And it’d be all his fault.

In a desperate last ditch attempt to contact Kuroha, he picked up his phone and tried to call the snake. It rang… only for Shintaro to see it sitting on the night stand, vibrating with the name “Shintaro-kun” on the display. The color drained from Shintaro’s face. Kuroha might actually be gone forever without any way to contact him ever again. And it was his fault.

The emotionally drained NEET collapsed onto his bed. Tears falling from his eyes as the thought settled in his mind. Kuroha didn’t deserve this. He deserved much better than to have feelings for Shintaro. He probably hated him. He  _ definitely _ hated him by now if he left the house without a word. A pain filled Shintaro’s heart as he remembered the unbridled kindness Kuroha showed to him. Curling up into a ball, Shintaro held his head. “Kuroha… I’m sorry… Please come back.”

 

~*~

 

There was an empty feeling in Kuroha’s heart that he couldn’t explain. While he’d emotionally detached himself from his depressing thoughts for a good few hours, he was being bothered by that thought he’d had.  _ ‘Shintaro is probably worried sick about you. You should head back now.’ _ Kuroha still wasn’t even sure if it was his own or some strange intrusive impulse that his brain had made to send him back into a panic, but it worked. If he actually loved Shintaro, then he’d never want to make Shintaro worry about him. He shouldn’t have left on his own in the first place.. But here he was, deep into the downtown area, farther than even Shintaro would ever travel. He didn’t have his phone. He was alone. And while he thought that is what he wanted at first, that wasn’t true.

It was stupid and petty what he’d done. He knew he hurt Shintaro but was he really helping the boy by leaving so abruptly? Shintaro needed space, but was this too much space? Shintaro was suicidal after all... 

This was a mistake. He should head back. The sun would set any moment now, considering it was the winter season. He was okay with the dark, but Shintaro would probably want him to come back before dark, so they could sleep. He really owed Shintaro big time after this screw up. It was going to be a holiday the following day, so maybe he could buy Shintaro a gift to make it up to him. It was the least he could do. Looking casually through the shops, he smiled. “That one. That’s perfect for him.” He walked into the building out of the cold. If Shintaro hadn’t considered forgiving him yet, maybe this would change his mind.

 

~*~

 

Shintaro shivered on his bed hugging his knees. It was almost five. The sun was setting. With the end of the day, his heart started to sink. Kuro was probably not going to come back. He was such a careless friend who never learned, wasn’t he? He didn’t deserve chances like these cause he always messed it up. It would only be so long before the Dan turned on him too. Hahahaha…

He was so deep in his self loathing that it took the sound of something dropping, followed by a loud thud and the window nearly slamming shut. Shintaro had nearly jumped out of bed at this, and looked over to see Kuroha laying flat on the floor, straightening himself up as he stood. He really needed to work on his entrances…

But, that was when the realization hit Shintaro. Kuroha was back. He came back! Everything was better now!... Except it wasn’t. The snake looked tired and cold. He spent all that time outside… “Kuroha!”

The taller male flinched at the shout. He looked over, trying to play it cool. “Hey Shintaro. Nice to see actually hear you for the first time in a week.” Kuroha plopped down in his usual spot, the clothing pile next to the other’s bed.

“Where did you go!?”

The snake yawned. “For a walk.”

“In the winter? Without a coat?? In the middle of the night?!?!” Shintaro was starting to get annoyed. He was putting himself in so much risk with these choices. “Why would you go for a walk like this? Did you sleep at all?!”

Kuroha turned away. “I couldn’t sleep. So I went for a walk. It’s as simple as that.”

“Kuroha…. You can’t just stay up for 35 hours straight! That’s bad for your health! Humans need to sleep!”

Another yawn, Kuroha trying his best to seem not bothered by anything. “Well, it was more like, 40 hours but I couldn’t fall asleep.”

Shintaro’s eye was twitching, he was done with the snake’s crap at this point. “Kuroha you idiot! Don’t ever do that again!” Even without seeing his face, Shintaro could tell that actually got to Kuroha. “You had me worried sick! The Dan is still on the warpath trying to find you to stop the plan that they are convinced you still have, and you’re just walking around out there without a disguise or anything! You didn’t even say you were leaving or left a note for me or even took your phone with you. I’m supposed to be keeping you safe until they are ready to trust you and you pull this shit and…” Shintaro sighed, noticing a dampening in Kuroha’s mood. Yelling at him  _ wasn’t helping _ . Thinking that would do anything was stupid. If anything, him acting this way would just drive him away  _ again _ .

Getting off of the bed, Shintaro bent down next to the clothing pile, draping his jacket over the other’s shoulders, hoping to get him to look over at him. “Look… I’m sorry I stopped talking to you for a while. I just… I know that you meant well but even so, finding out the truth about my friends deaths hurt a lot. I spent forever blaming myself for it, so when you told me you were responsible I kinda… snapped. I shouldn’t have just shut you out completely like that. I hurt you a lot, I see that now. I ignored all your attempts to reach me because of something you didn’t know would negatively affect you in the long run. It was stupid and selfish and I won’t do that ever again. I… don’t blame you for killing them. So let’s forget about it, okay?”

Kuroha smiled, rolling over to meet Shintaro’s smiling face. “It’s okay, I don’t blame you. It was probably a lot to hear from me, especially after you told me not to lie about anything anymore if you wanted to trust me. I did put it off for a while. I just didn’t want to hurt you…” Kuroha glanced to the side.

“Well, let’s forget about this, Kuroha.” For the first time in days, Shintaro heard his stomach growl. “Hey… do you think you could make us some of those sandwiches again?”

Kuroha’s mood perked up immediately. “Of course, Shintaro-kun~” He stood up, legs a bit weak. “But next time you make the sandwich, okay?” Shintaro nodded, making Kuroha feel a lot better about all this. At least this meant that Shintaro didn’t want him gone forever.

The two sat, tired, on Shintaro’s bed, eating their halves of the delicious sandwich that Kuroha had made for them. Shintaro immediately regretted trashing the one he made for him earlier. It was really delicious. Kuroha must have done something with the sauces or something cause it was kind of sweet but not so sweet that it made Shintaro vomit. He couldn’t handle sweets very well, so this was perfect for him. Seeing all that Kuroha was willing to do for him really helped him appreciate the snake more than before.

Shintaro was sure to make sure the other was comfortable. If he understood snakes well enough from biology class and the recent research he did, snakes cannot handle the cold. So the only way to remedy the situation would be to keep Kuroha warm. He wrapped the other in his jacket, smiling before returning to his bed.

After a while, they both were laying in their respective “Beds” when Kuroha spoke up.

“You know, Shintaro… because of your outburst, I never finished telling you what I meant to about 2 years ago. Just because Ayano is in the haze and refuses to come out on her own doesn’t mean she’s gone forever. We can bring her back, we just need to get to the haze and talk to her. It’ll be a bit, and it’s not impossible. And about Takane… she’s not gone, Shintaro. She’s been here the whole time.”

Shintaro’s eyes widen questioningly. “Kuroha, what do you mean?” He was running over the thought in his head when it hit him like slap to the face. “Ene…” The Dan member he’d skipped over in his explanation of powers. The “virus” that had plagued his life for the past year. It’d make enough sense given how much they argued when she was alive. But… it was really her?

“She has the snake of Opening eyes. While I’m not sure exactly how it gave her a cyber form, it granted her wish really well. She wanted to be free from eating and sleeping, and her new body gives her that option. She was pretty sick back then so I don’t blame her for that point of view.” He frowned, regretting the murder yet again. “She can even still get back in her old one. I just have to get it out from my lab. This is what I wanted to tell you before you snapped at me a few days ago. I promise, as soon as I can, I’ll get both of them back for you, alright, Shintaro-kun? I just need some time.”

Shintaro smiled. “Yeah… that’s great Kuroha. I trust you The least I can do after all this is trust you with this..”

Kuroha blushed. It was then that he’d remembered the box he dropped in the room when he first got home. He lifted it up to Shintaro. “Hey, I know it’s a little early but… I bought you this. Merry Christmas…”

Shintaro was surprised, he didn’t even know if the Dan would be giving him gifts. He was their least active member after all. He opened the box to see a keyboard inside. “It’s wireless and has a trackpad so you can use it while in bed. You weren’t really leaving the bed much so I thought…”

“It’s perfect. Thank you.” Shintaro smiled… until he remembered that Christmas Eve was an important couple's day in Japan. “Kuroha, stop flirting with me!” Kuroha looked at him with confusion. “You know today is an important day for lovers and couples!”

“No I don’t, I’m new to this whole human thing, remember?” A small lie. What Shintaro didn’t know he knew about humans couldn’t hurt. Now was probably not the time to go back to teasing him anyway.

Shintaro placed the box on the floor, laying back down in bed. “Goodnight, Kuroha… We can install the new keyboard tomorrow...”

“Goodnight, Shintaro-kun~” said Kuroha, smiling as he curled up under Shintaro’s jacket.


End file.
